The Most Correct Choice in My Life

Life is defined as the existence of an individual human being. From the moment I found out I was going to be a father, I knew I had to choose life for my daughter. Being a 17 year old father opened up a lot of options for Madison and I when we found out we were going to be parents. Abortion was among that list of options. It was something we talked about the possibility of, but I knew deep down I couldn’t take away my baby girl’s right to live.

I am going to explain to you how I chose to be deliberate in my journey through becoming a father and how abortion could have affected us differently as it does so many other young people facing the same decision.

When I found out that I was going to be a father, I was more shocked than I was scared. It wasn’t an easy thing to wrap my head around.

I knew the consequences of my actions were appropriate, but I never wanted to accept that. Madison and I waited until she was 26 weeks pregnant to tell any living soul about the pregnancy. We explored all of our options regarding our daughter. The first one presented to us was the option of adoption. Most people wouldn’t expect a couple of teenagers to be ready to raise a child when we, ourselves, are still learning and growing.

We liked the idea of adoption, but we both felt that we had the support necessary from our families to raise this baby as a team.

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Before making the final decision though, we discussed the option of abortion. I never thought much of it until it became a very real option that could potentially change my life. When we found out about our daughter, my girlfriend was about 6 weeks along. Which isn’t enough for you to physically notice a difference at all. We knew if we chose abortion, that secret could have been kept between us and we could have saved ourselves the embarrassment of teen pregnancy. However, we also knew that regardless of the decision we made, two things would become abundantly clear and important to us.

The first thing we knew for sure was that regardless of whether we kept the pregnancy or not, our lives would be forever changed. We had done some research about how abortions can mentally affect mothers after they are put into effect. We weren’t entirely sure what to expect, but we knew it wouldn’t come without some sort of emotional consequence. The second thing we knew for sure was that we didn’t have the right to terminate our baby girl, because of the adult choices we made. We knew that she was a result of our actions, and we knew that she could end up being a big blessing to our lives.

A lot of people who faced the same decisions as we did, struggle in the same ways. Some people aren’t lucky enough to have the emotional and financial support we do. Therefore, it becomes easier for them to choose abortion. Others feel ashamed of their circumstances. Whether they had a baby as a result of consensual sex or rape, they may feel very embarrassed and thus choose to terminate the baby. What so many people don’t understand though, is that after terminating a baby via aborition, approximately 81% of women will experience some sort of mental health struggle.

A 2011 study of the link between abortion and mental health after-effects reported that 34% of women were likely to develop an anxiety disorder, 37% of women were likely to experience depression, 110% of women are more likely to abuse alcohol, and 155% of women are more likely to commit suicide. Suicide is a mental side effect of abortion. Imagine the guilt, anger and hurt so many young men and women experience because fear drove them to choose abortion. Seriously consider when exploring the option of abortion is how it will effect the realtionship of the couple involved. In some cases, the mother is left to deal with the situation alone, but in my case, there was more than one person’s feelings to consider. We also had to consider how it would affect our relationship with one another. Would we feel distant? Would we feel disconnected? Unable to emotionally support one another?

Would it ultimately ruin our relationship with one another? These are all questions I asked myself. One woman from a published report on personal stories of abortion shares how ulitimately following through with abortion led to a lot of personal hurt and guilt as well as being the cause of her relationship ending. At one point the woman even explains, “The drama of the dissolution of our relationship is as undignified and painful as the end of every relationship. He cannot explain what has happened except that ‘The abortion changed everything’.” Her partner felt the effects of the abortion deeply and it ultimately lead to their break up. Later on, she explains how she started to feel the effects of it as she saw other people’s babies in public and she explains that a baby reaching out to her makes her feel “like this is my punishment.” What a terrible way to feel, to live in guilt.

After learning this information, I am more than glad to know that my girlfriend and I made the best decision we could have for ourselves and our daughter in that period of our lives. After our daughter was born, I experienced love in a way I never had before. To be honest, I’m not sure I knew what love was before she came along. Watching her open her eyes or laugh for the first time, brought me to tears. Teaching her how to walk and watching her become her own person, helps me to know that my girlfriend and I made the right decision in choosing life for our daughter. Now don’t get me wrong, being a teenage parent is no easy task. We both had to learn how to be selfless. We had to learn to put someone else’s needs above our own. We have both had to make big sacrifices and take turns feeding or changing her in order to get the job done.

However, I know now, that being a parent is the most rewarding feeling, and with it, my relationship with my girlfriend has grown stronger. We now have to act as a team to raise our daughter as best as we can. Looking back, I see that abortion was the easy way out, but it would have eventually come back and caused more pain and guilt and embrarrassment than allowing our child a shot at life ever could have.

Sources

1. https://lagunatreatment.com/support-for-women/mental-health-abortion/
2. https://www.theatlantic.com/notes/2016/08/when-an-abortion-destroys-a-relationship/495536/