Parenting Children: Sex Education

Parenting is said to be the hardest job on the planet, I tend to agree. Being a single mother raising a young boy who will be a teenager, that thought is terrifying. However, someone warned that having “The Talk” with him someday would be the toughest moment of my life; I disagree. Whose job is it to teach our children about sex? Everyone has their opinions that is starts at home, that they will let the school deal with it or that their child can figure it out on their own.

In my school district, there is no information listed about the current sexual education curriculum. The only posted item was that information would be sent home with each student for the parent to review along with an opt-out form.

This is concerning for me, a school should openly post and welcome feedback about their sexual education curriculum like they do about their mathematics and social studies programs. I decided to look into the city that I work in, which is a bigger area and less sheltered city.

The city is currently using the Michigan Model for sexual education however they are actually in the process of revising their middle sexual education curriculum with a good deal of pushback. The city board of education is looking to expand their teaching to include how to avoid and have safer sex. I love this idea because whether or not society wants to accept it, children in the city as young as twelve years old are engaging in unprotected sexual activity with multiple partners.

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After reading over the current Michigan Model, I feel like it is appropriate for children. It gives brief overviews on each topic without giving too much information to make parents uncomfortable. Each grade level appears to give grade-appropriate knowledge without going overboard. The proposed curriculum sounds far more “edgy” with some of the board of education members stating that it was too developmentally advanced. The current Michigan Model, is comprehensive, for some of the topics. It covers emotional health, safety, nutrition and drugs, and alcohol well without going into so much detail that it overwhelms a child or could make a parent uncomfortable. When it comes to sexual education it begins to address that portion in fourth grade, which could be seen as a little late when it comes to boundaries and inappropriate touching. The proposed curriculum goes into much further detail into abstinence and safe sex practices starting in sixth grade.

Personally, I would like to see every school to add or expand on consent component to their sexual education. Young men need to thoroughly grasp not only what no means no is but also what yes means yes is. Yes, means yes is a more comprehensive means of consent and that is the lesson that is taught to this generation there will be less grey area around the subject of rape and consent. I also want to see boys and emotions discussed more in health and sexual education, society continues to miss the mark and are letting them down. Also, for young women, they need to know that it is ok to not want to engage in sexual activity with someone, to not feel that pressure. We as a society need to stop sexually young girls at such an early age then not expect them to act in more mature ways.

I am not certain that parents should have the ability to add or edit a school’s sexual education curriculum because each parent has different opinions on what is appropriate. I’d rather my son be getting the proper education instead of various things from his friends. I also look at this with the lens of working in a sexual assault agency that offers sexual education training in schools. And knowing that, I plan on continuously discussing safe sex practices with him and am not bothered by him getting any additional knowledge at school. Not every parent looks at sexual education in that same light and does have the right to refuse their children from participating.

Religion is one factor that would come into to play and would restrict what some parents would not want to be taught and non-religious parents might not be as restrictive. Some parents might not want contraception taught until high school and others might feel that junior high is more appropriate. I feel that this topic is best left up to the school system. Sexual education in schools will always be a hot topic because people have different values and belief systems. Something like sexual education can push a family’s boundaries and beliefs easily so it is fair to always offer comprehensive information. The issue is that this knowledge or lack thereof will be used for the rest of a person’s life, hopefully, it is accurate and informative.