Marriage, Divorce, and Singleness in the Christian

Marriage in the Christian spotlight is predestined by god, that we may live together and strive to be one another soul mates through Christ “Wives, Submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them”-(Colossians 3:18-19) but through the Christian faith not all marriages stay on the true path that was built for them. About 40 to 50 percent of Married Christian Couples get divorced before reaching old age, and this has nothing to do with the actually affection in the relationship, it has to do with marrying for the wrong reasons and not sticking to gods eternal plan that he has set out for us.

In the bible Paul couldn’t stress enough that the use of love over spiritual gifts and other worldly desires far outweighed any else. Paul made his views on divorce known; that he disapproves of the separation of couples without significant reason “There is immorality among you.

” – (1 Corinthians 5:1-6:20) Clearly Marriage was the first institution created by God, God made the first man Adam but mentioned that he wasn’t meant to be alone, and found that no animal was suitable for Adam; but through a woman whose name is eve he found his companion “No companion suitable for him” – (Genesis 2:20).

When we compare the divorce rate in the church to that of the culture as a whole, the difference is very small, therefore disappointing. The churches stance on up keeping gods spiritual laws.

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Most Couples who turn to divorce do so prematurely, and often for the wrong reasons; in most cases this results in them violating god’s scriptures that ultimately gives the public a certain view on Christian marriages that makes the concept of getting divorced okay and that the ways of the church are not as effective as they once were this is simply not true. The public not understanding that in the churches eye, divorce is disastrous to the body, mind, and spirit therefore not following the teachings of our lord Jesus Christ. Conservative Christians consider marriage as the most intimate of human relationships, a gift from God, and a sacred institution. Protestants consider it to be sacred, holy, and central to the community of faith. But in modern times this is not taking as seriously as back when Paul and the apostles walked the earth, back in those days there was a heavy set of principles that were set on marriage that seem to be fading away in these modern times. In the days when the views on marriage were stricter; The Church believed that the union between a man and a woman is instituted and ordained by God as the lifelong relationship between one man as husband, and one woman as wife; Paul also gave a similar statement when he said “Let marriage be held in honor among all” – (Hebrews 13:4) even though our lord our god never was married he stressed the importance of the sacredness of marriage in the bible.

We as Christians seek to uphold the seriousness of wedding vow’s but we go through agonizing divorce, though frowned upon in the bible, we look to relieve our partner of intolerable hardships, and unfaithfulness. Divorces has dire consequences on the ordinary family, most divorces leads most people in the family to not follow their religious background because of such failure through the parents or guardian figure who has soiled the view of marriage or the ways of the church for another. The bible also talks about being loyal to one’s marriage “Likewise, you husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” – (1 Peter 3:7) the churches views on marriage are very clear, as far as commitment goes. Many not knowing that Marriage has great advantages to it, through the faith it leads to bearing each other’s sins and being accountable for each other through Christ; lessens the load that can be on one person so that through Christ your father can lessen you burdens “Above all things have fervent love for one another, for ‘love will cover a multitude of sins’”-(1 Peter 4:8)

Christian couples often break apart because they aren’t not following the teachings of the bible of how to stay together through the faith. Christian couples have many examples in the bible to help keep them from using divorce as an alternative. “A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh.” Most couples lead to divorce because they forget to keep their relationship alive through showing affection and giving priority to one another in times of hardship “Be kindly Affectionate to one another, in honor giving preference to one another.”- (Romans 12:10) Often less serious Christians take the teachings of the bible with little regard, and result in regretting not heeding gods teaching before time and that often ends in abrupt decisions such as divorce. Christians of the modern age have found that divorcing is faster than resolving their marital problems or accepting secular ridicule from the church or their peers; on how to reflect on themselves, their mistakes, personality’s, and lifestyle to repair their relationship in a proper manner. This often gives bad example to other couples that take notice of this lifestyle; simply by not listening to Paul’s teaching on love, it leads many astray from the true way of how a Christian relationship should be centered around. Marriage and divorce have great effects on the church as a whole and often hurts the community with every broken vow. What once was cherished when times were simpler is now taken as a distant truth that seems to be ignored; for those in the church who still believe that marriage is a sacred union of the highest order; it would be hard to maintain composure with such acts of dishonesty in today’s relationships.

In the bible Paul says that “I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from god; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: it is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.”- (1 Corinthians 7:7-8). Paul is saying some have the gift of singleness and some have the gift to have a marriage, but its fine either way he’s saying, both are a gift and marrying is not required to be in the eyes of god, even when Paul was single, he was able to use being single as a way to not be held down by the pressure of a marriage. He got closer to god, and was able to spread his word all over the world. Singleness is not a curse; it’s but a blessing in the right circumstances.

Singleness has been interrupted into modern society as currently being without a partner, or unmarried or not involved in a stable relationship. Being single in today’s modern world is more of standing in a counter group in society as the “other” category when it comes to partnerships or relationships, your free to do what you want without thinking about someone else, or how they feel, or what they think about what you’re doing. It’s a social standing in today’s modern life. Having a understanding of singleness can put you far. when you’re the one who is single, singleness doesn’t just mean that your alone or by yourself, it means and shows how much control you have over your own life, because you can resist or withstand being in a relationship ship or partnership with someone or a certain social group that can do worse for you rather then help you get ahead. To me singleness means that you’re independent and that you have the morals and the discipline to be single and stand for yourself, and be responsible for you and your actions, not relying on someone else for that second opinion, but thinking and figuring problems out on your own. Being single isn’t a position in the dating world; it’s a perspective of how you want and/or could live your life.

For modern Christians being single isn’t something that is planned., Most Christians are told by the bible, that being married is a good thing and it can help you down the road in your life, having someone help you with the situations you face or to help you through the bad times life sometimes has. Christians know that being single isn’t a bad thing, but they also think it isn’t the best thing. Any way Christians look at it, you’re supposed to get married, so you can be unified under the eye of god, but they must understand that being single isn’t curse like I mentioned before, its empowering, it can help you get closer to god, it doesn’t push you away. Christian’s view of being single is like in a tough spot, or rather stuck in on of gods test until they find a wife. God said “he who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.”-(Proverb18:22). This scripture is one that Christians wrap they’re lives around, hoping for a relationship change that can best favor them in their path through life. Christians follow the bible to get a better understanding before leaving this earth, but they do not understand that being single is just as good as being married, even if it can be more challenging, it can also be more helpful and just as good as being married, singleness is a gift as Paul said, just not a gift everyone gets to indulge in.

Being single doesn’t mean that you can’t do things for god or not answer his calling for you just because your single, you have to look at the bigger perspective. There were so many people that god used while they were single, weather they’re result was good or bad, they still did they’re purpose for god. People who did gods will are Also people used they’re singleness to the upmost percent they could so they could help god with the time they had on their hands instead of wasting it, here are some examples: Daniel Jesus, Shadrach, Paul, Meshach, John The Baptist, Abednego, Philip’s 4 daughters, Elijah, Elisha, and Jeremiah. Being single isn’t the end of the world, or going to make you stray from the path of Jesus Christ, because god can still use you just as much as god uses people in marriages. You should still look for happiness in marriage but just stop worrying if its bringing you to god or further away from it, god understands your life and your standing weather your single or not.

I’ve mentioned a lot of strong people who were single that god used, but that doesn’t mean to stay single forever, forgetting what your true purpose is and just not worrying about it is not the answer, the bible says “Then I returned, and I saw vanity under the sun. There is one alone, and there is not a second; yea, he hath neither child nor brother: yet is there no end of all his labor; neither is his eye satisfied with riches; neither said he, for whom do I labor, and bereave my soul of good? This is also vanity, yea, it is a sore travail’’-(Ecclesiastes 4:7-8). When you focus too much on working on being single just because you have this new information I’ve gave to you doesn’t mean that you just stop reaping what you can possibly sow, you keep going and don’t just build up yourself to prove that being single is also a way to god. God does want you to marry, it’s just not required to get to god by marrying, it’s just something god supports and approves of in his godly laws. God want you to be happy and to experience receiving love and giving love to other people so you can know what the difference between being single and having singleness is.

Love is the answer when it comes to god, that’s why we all share god’s love because he loves us all, and even in the end we are not alone in singleness, god is with us and he shares everything that we do with equal pain and suffering, we are not alone. God said “ So in Christ Jesus you are all children of god through faith for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourself with Christ, there is neither Jew nor gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus-(Galatians 3:26-28). Weather your single or married, you will get to god in the same way as the other person or group, if it wasn’t true then Paul wouldn’t have been single, while pushing forward for god on his lonesome. Christians have to choose whether they want to follow in the old testament where being in marriage with another was the only justified way of unity, or do they want to find their own way to Christ Jesus by embracing singleness and using it as a power that god as given them.

Divorce isn’t just a subject about separating from your loved one, it’s also getting away from those things you don’t want to be involved with anymore, which the bible widely teaches about, dying from your old life and starting a new one with Christ Jesus is what the bible is mostly about. It shares all of its knowledge because it wants you to part with the old things you hold on too, not just with your partner. Divorce has changed from the when it was in its historical state, it says “ it has been said’ Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce, but I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery”-(Matthew 5:31-32), the bible is saying that anyone that has a divorce is committing a sin, and is committing adultery as well, and anyone who marries that women that is divorced has committed adultery as well! God is more understanding and in modern society god knows that more things factor when a divorce occurs such as, accidents, unfaithfulness or unexpected events happening in someone’s life that results in a divorce. Things change in the bible that is supposed to be interpreted for our new life’s under Christ. That’s why divorce has more than one meaning rather than when it had less back in the Old Testament. Divorce leads to singleness, but divorce doesn’t lead to you moving further from god Although frowned upon, and singleness doesn’t either, both have their own way in getting closer to god, usually through the same method; praying.

Marriage and divorce aren’t really different; they’re very similar. Marriage is like a cleansing from your old life and thins follows the same principle in giving your life to god and starting a new journey through Christ “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away: behold, all things are become new”- (2 Corinthians 5:17) throwing everything behind you to jump into a new, more loving life; while divorce does same thing, just in a different way. When you get married through the eyes of Christ you’re expected to live in a sanctimonious way, following the old/new teachings of the bible so your relationship can strive and become healthy and last long. Marriage is a lifelong commitment that has been degraded time and time again because in modern times it is not taken seriously. From the disastrous on look onto marriage many people have decided that it’s just better to remain single, then to marry and become another product of disappointment; or the individual being afraid that all roads in a marriage lead to a divorce and eventually if he or she commits to a real relationship it would end up within those confines; this is dishearten to god, because a marriage is sacred and the holy joining of two individuals is to honor god and his teachings. The latest statistics show that a child born today has only a fifty percent chance of living with both birth parents by the age of 16, more than one hundred thousand couples split up every year, and this number is drastically climbing more and more. Divorce was common place in jesus day men and women had ignored gods ideal plan for marriage for a significant amount of time, even so there were some that recognized that divorce was no morally sound, consequently there was debate continuously happening within religious circles on whether divorce was acceptable; really it was focused on “Something indecent”- (Deuteronomy 24:1)

The Pharisees questioned Jesus, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” It guaranteed that almost any answer would offend someone and stir up controversy. Jesus responded to this question throughout the entire passage. By asking “Is it lawful”- (Matthew 19:3-7) the Pharisees were referring to the law of Moses. They believed that greater obedience to the law would raise one up another rung in the spiritual hierarchy. This question didn’t seem to put things into a proper context although, purer hearts might have asked, “Is it lawful for a man to remain married to his wife when there are good reasons to divorce?” The Pharisees wanted reasons to break up a marriage; Jesus responded by emphasizing what keeps a marriage together, which is God’s way. This ultimately tells us that even though community’s and other spiritual leaders may not be clear on the proper way to deal with divorce, we can always rely on gods teachings through the bible to keep us clean and holy.