The Idea and Practice of Love and Marriage Today

“Here Comes the Bride” was a song I would always use to sing while pretending that my dolls were getting married. However, when I look back it seems I hardly even knew what marriage meant or what its purpose even was and now that I think about, is it even necessary anymore? Personally, I hope that one day the wedding my dolls were receiving will be me one day and that my prince charming will sweep me off my feet, but I can’t help but think, what does marriage even mean? Have our motives to get married changed from say the 18‘” Century? Or do we still get married for the same reasons? In the 18th Century.

marriage was practically a business deal. To settle it’s got to look good and come with all those little extras and benefits that everyone else’s offers don‘t have. You had to have security and faith that this deal is going to stick Butwhat about three centuries later? We still choose based on looks, all those little extras.

the only difference being is we have more freedom and choice than we have ever had before.

In this century it doesn’t matter how rich you are or what you look like, it doesn’t matter that you’ve already married three times before and it doesn’t matter what religion or race you are. Because apparently if you love them, everything is going to be okay. Love is a mind game. You can stress and get emotional until you finally break down trying to find a solution but at the end of the day, you can still be stuck in the same place as you were to begin with.

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The way it makes us feel is inevitable and undeniable but what always gets me stumped is does it last? Back in the 18′” century, love didn’t play a major part in marriage, You looked for security. approval from your family, for status and money. You also didn’t have the chance to get to know them too well beforehand. And this is where I think divorce has a higher chance of occurring within our society today. Rebellion is a common thing in the 215′ Century and most would do anything to push the boundaries. Getting married because everyone else says you shouldn’t or if you really wanted to push it. even having sex before marriage are just some examples.

But with rebellion, comes the tendency to make irrational decisions and mistakes. Today, love and passion within a marriage is all that matters. As long as you are completely devoted to your partner and you are willing to sacrifice everything to stay with them, your marriage will last. But is this true? We all know love is a tricky thing to get yourself stuck into and if you do end up getting a divorce, you can’t help but think, was it all worth it? Was it worth all the tears and chocolate, all the fighting and disagreements? In Charlotte Bronte’s. Jane Eyre. Jane says to Mr Rochester. “to gain any real affection from you… or any other whom I truly love, I would willingly submit to have the bone of my arm broken… or stand behind a kicking horse, and let it dash its hoof at my chest,” Now this may seem a little extreme but I don’t think this passionate statement is any different to how many would feel about their partners today.

But then again I ask the same question. Is letting our emotions get this deep clouding our Judgment to make decisions that prevent us from making the same mistakes over and over again? And is it really going to be worth it in the end when we know that 50% of marriages and in divorce? In addition. it has also been shown that over the last 20 years divorce has been steadily increasing. Love is magic, but sometimes magic is just an illusion. When we look at Jane Eyre, you clearly see how Charlotte Bronte tried to challenge her times everyday perception of marriage. That the man is control of who he chooses and the woman stands back and must take the offer usually because of family influence or she might not get another offer. Maybe this is why marriages back then lasted. Because the other half had basically no say and because you took advantage of what you were given Today, enough marriages end in divorce and for whatever reasons but a main factor could be because of affairs.

The amount of choice and freedom we are given in our society gives everyone the opportunity to abuse it and become unfaithful to their partners. We know that if the first or second marriage doesn’t last, we can always Just keep getting married and then eventually you Will get it right. With all the fuss and strain of marriage and love. I come back to my main concern. ls marriage necessary anymore? When you get married, one of the vows is promismg that partner that you will stay with them for the rest of your life. If you don’t think that it’s going to that long, then don’t get married. It is beyond my understanding that people would willingly spend that much time and money on something that’s only going to end in tears and hurt however many years later. Marriage is a lifetime commitment. Some call it magic, some call it hell. Whether you choose to take this commitment is up to you. But in this day and age I do not think marriage is as necessary as it was back in Jane‘s time. We are a society where we don‘t have to be dependent on someone else to survive.