Stories of Ancient Greek Writers About Same-Sex Desire

After observing the pots, paintings, poetry, and other written stories that survived, historians have interpreted them as same-sex relationships. However, many historians who examine this art, debate about the lovers’ emotions towards the other. Was the love mutual? Was the love one-sided? Some historians believe that male same-sex relations focused on educating young, future male citizens, while others believed that at least one male in the relationship harbored feelings for the other person. Greek poet, Theognis, wrote about the eromenos that cheated on him and left.

Plato describes in his piece Symposium, Aristophanes’ belief that same-sex desire stems from a person’s need to become “whole again”. Despite Theognis’ poetry in The Theognid Collection and Aristophanes’ speech in Plato’s Symposium including one of the most well-known love gods, they differ tremendously in their tellings of commitment and pleasure within a relationship.

The Gods of Ancient Greece tend to be extremely well-known by people in modern society. One of the most common love Gods is named Eros.

Both writers, despite writing in different genres, mention Eros in their stories. Theognis scribes that “Eros, too, rises in season, when the Earth/ Swells and blooms with Spring flowers./ Then Eros leaves Cyprus, that lovely island,/ And goes among men, scattering seed on the ground”. By including Eros in his poetry, Theognis discloses the rationale for his feelings for Cyrnus. Eros, by venturing out to the human population, appears to act like the modern version of Cupid. According to Plato, Aristophanes believed that Eros was their “helper, and cures those evils whose cure brings the greatest happiness to the human race”.

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This happiness, Aristophanes explains, helped the two soulmates connect and embrace their desires. In the end, Aristophanes considers these feelings of desire and completeness between two same-sex couples as love. Even though Aristophanes believed Eros needed to be celebrated, and Theognis barely mentions Eros, the god is an important part in their stories of same-sex desire.

Commitment is defined as the state of being dedicated to a cause or a person. Without commitment, a stable relationship will not be able to form, and will eventually fail. In both Ancient Greek works, the level of commitment differs between the two relationships. In Theognis’ poetry, he wishes his beloved doesn’t “leave the friend you have to find another,/ Yielding to the words of vulgar men./ You know, they’ll often lie to me about you,/ To you about me. Don’t listen to them” (Thegnas 1238a-1240). Even though he is referring to a “friend”, he is talking about himself. He does not want Cyrnus, his eromenos, to leave him for another. In his time period, erastai have to compete for the affection of eromenoi. In his poem, Theognis makes it very clear that the erastai have to continually fight for their eromenos. Despite winning his eromenos once, he had to continue fighting. He lost to another man. He also states that Cyrnus is “like a horse. Just now sated with seed,/ You’ve come back to my stable,/ Yearning for a good rider, fine meadow”.

Using the horseback riding metaphor, Theognis explains how his eromenos desires to come back to him. Cyrnus returned when he wanted something his new lover did not have. This continuous inconsistency of commitment will cause relationships to end very quickly. Theognis continued to change his feelings about Cyrnus, which makes it unclear if they ever rekindled their romance. On the other hand, Plato retells Aristophanes’ version of same-sex desire as the partners being obligated to be committed to the other person. Unlike Theognis writing about a real-life scenario, Aristophanes’ story is based on his model of the beginnings of human nature. After being separated from their other half, “each half went round looking for its lost half. They put their arms around one another and embraced each other, in their desire to grow together again”. Aristophanes’ model is similar to soulmates; one person being ideally suitable for one other person. As a result, the pair would stay together forever once found.

Commitment, in this case, is not violated because there is no leeway for improvement in partners. Aristophanes’ model showcases the relationship by explaining that soulmates “are the people who spend their whole lives together”. Similar to the modern idea of common law marriage, these couples stay together and are faithful to one person. Between the two Ancient Greek writings, Theognis’ poetry portrays a lack of commitment, while Plato’s retelling of Aristophanes’ speech paints a picture of complete commitment. Pleasure, which means a feeling of satisfaction and enjoyment, is vital for any relationship. Without equivalent pleasure, relationships will not be able to grow and flourish. In his poetry, Theognis’ describes how his eromenos never sexually pleasured him, despite Theognis giving his heart. Theognis proclaims that he never received “No thanks from [Cyrnus] for favors./ [Cyrnus] never gave [him] pleasure. And though I’ve often/ Been kind to you, I never won your respect/” .

Throughout their relationship, Theognis gifted Cyrnus with many physical objects, like money, food, and education. However, Cyrnus seems to be ungrateful for everything given to him. Despite the freedom, objects, and attention his erastes gave to him, Cyrnus’ ungratefulness drove him towards another erastes. By leaving the relationship, it became obvious that this pleasure of material things seemed to overtake the obligation of pleasuring Theognis, which is a fundamental aspect of pederasty in Ancient Greece. Despite Cyrnus’ impersonal connection to him, Theognis seems to still have feelings for Cyrnus. He writes that “as long as [Cyrnus’] cheek is smooth, I’d never/ Stop praising [him], not even if I have to die./ … Since I’m in love/”.

Despite Cyrnus cheating on him and leaving, Theognis’ emotions force him to remain in love and continue to desire sexual pleasure. Theognis’ poem paints a picture of when pleasure, sexual and platonic, is not returned by the other half while Plato’s retelling of the Aristophanes’s model describes relationships that have “built-in” reciprocated pleasure. Aristophanes believed after meeting, two lovers are “completely overwhelmed by friendship and affection and desire, more or less refusing to be separated for any time at all”. With these characteristics, a marvelous bond can be formed between the lovers. The bond includes someone to rely on, to share enjoyment with, to share an emotional connection with, and to grow with. Having a constant companion and a shoulder to lean on creates feelings of bliss and gratification. Aristophanes’ model explains that people who have been split in half are prone to “have lovers…

No one imagines that it’s simply sexual intercourse, or that sex is the reason why one gets such enormous pleasure out of the other’s company”. The model creates relationships that have sexual and another level of pleasure. Successful relationships need more than sexual pleasure and material pleasure. Relationships with a multitude of pleasure types will succeed and continue to rise into a relationship that is above any sexual or material relationship. Theognis’ poetry paints a picture of relationships containing no mutual pleasure while Plato’s version of Aristophanes’ speech speculates about soulmates sharing common feelings of pleasure. Even though both writers wrote within the same five hundred year period, and are from the same culture, they vary in interpreting pivotal components in same-sex relationships.

In Theognis’ poetry, he articulates about his lover cheating on him and never sexually or emotionally pleasuring him. In Plato’s notion of Aristophanes’ speech, Aristophanes pronounces his belief of soulmates that commit to their other half and can gain different types of pleasure together. While both writers scribe about Eros: The Love God, they do not have similar relationships. Aristophanes views the love as mutual and everlasting. In Theognis’ recount of his story, his love went one way while his lovers went another. Without both commitment and pleasure, relationships like Theognis’ were doomed to fail, while relationships with both succeeded. I affirm that I have upheld the highest principles of honesty and integrity in my academic work and have not witnessed a violation of the Honor Code.