Bonds in Not Bad Dad & Those Winter Sundays

At a cursory glance, a prominent theme of life is the conflict between love and hate; people must learn to distinguish between these two forces because they have profoundly opposite effects. Love and hate serve as the basis for many relationships, and their constant friction threatens to distort one’s sense of understanding for another, leading to misconceptions and embitterment. Jan Heller Levi and Robert Hayden both apply this connection between love and hate to their respective works “Not Bad, Dad, Not Bad” and “Those Winter Sundays.

” These literary works portray the effects of a perceived lack of warmth in father-child relationships. In the former poem, “Not Bad, Dad. Not Bad,” the narrator describes his father‘s lack of accomplishments and lack of affection for the narration. However, this perception changes as the narrator reflects on his inaccuracies, understanding that the father truly did love the son.

A very similar sequence of events occurs in the latter poem, “Those Winter Sundays” though both literary works demonstrate the constant battle between love and hate, Levi and Hayden use differing tones and nature imagery to explore the flaws involved in, but also the importance of, parent—child relationships.

The contrasting tones of “Not Bad, Dad, Not Bad” and “Those Winter Sundays” both establish the complexity of parent-child relationships, but, in the former poem it is the child who causes the relationship’s flaws while in the latter it is the father. With a remorseful tone, the narrator of “Not Bad, Dad, Not Bad” recounts the disparity between himse.

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lf and his father during the narrator‘s childhood: “But I always thought I was drowning in that icy ocean between us when you were moving as fast as you can”.

Furthermore, the narrator employs the imagery of an “icy ocean” to portray the lack of warmth that he felt from his relationship with his father. However, with a return to the present, the narrator understands he is at fault in failing to sustain the relationship. as he states the father was “moving as fast as [he] can.“ The father has done all that he can do for his child, but the child feels alone because he does not realize that this love is present Comparatively. the father in this relationship is more loving and expressive than the father in “Those Winter Sundays.” In the latter poem, a different situation develops, with the parental relationship being more grave and silent. Although love still exists to a great extent, there is no clear indication of it to this child, who states, “What did I know, what did I know of love’s austere and lonely offices?”.

The speaker‘s use of the word “austere“ shows some level of harshness involved with love, a unique contrast between two opposing ideas. Here although the speaker feels as if he is at fault for not having understanding, the complication rather lies in the narrator‘s father who feels great affection for his son but cannot find the words to portray this tangibly. The father shows his love more through his actions than his words. which the son later comes to appreciate as he describes love‘s unique “offices” The lack of expression, however, creates a more dismal connection between the two during the son’s childhood, as the speaker employs the word “lonely“ to describe the effects of his father’s lack of words on the son’s emotions. Ultimately, the explicit topic of both poems is the relationship between a parent and a child, but they differ in their implicit conclusions about that relationship.

Furthermore, love is a prominent bridge between the two poems because it is always present but just expressed differently speakers’ considerations of their lives demonstrate the need for understanding between family members and the importance that these bonds will serve for a lifetime. Clearly, the speakers’ reflections advance the commonalities involved in convoluted parent-child bonds while still highlighting the different ways in which this complexity can manifest. Additionally while both poems use nature imagery to convey emotions, the emotions differ in that they develop opposing forces in nature. The symbol of the ocean and water evokes calmness and tranquility. but also uncertainty and volatility. In “Not Bad. Dad, Not Bad,” the speaker speculates that his relationship with his father was weak because of a lack of understanding: “I think how different everything might have been had I judged you’re loving like I judge your sidestroke, your butterfly,  your Australian crawl.

In these lines, swimming through water—one of the natural elements—serves as a metaphor for navigating life. In contrast, the ocean is later described as “icy” in the child’s mind to portray that he overlooked his father‘s warmth and love, instead judging his father by his minimal accomplishments In the end, the child gains more respect for his father and understands that his father’s love would have been a better measure of his character rather than the father’s abilities or achievements. As the extended metaphor of water is used as a perceived measurement of the father’s love, its complement, fire, is the dominating symbol of affection in “Those Winter Sundays.” In this second poem. the father‘s physical creation of fires transforms into something more emotionally charged: the burning of a flame as a symbol of passion. Here, the speaker describes his father’s bringing of physical warmth, by stating, “Hands made banked fires blaze [that] had driven out the cold“ .

In this excerpt, the fire develops a destructive but also more innate feeling the distinctive pan of this flame focuses on the father’s tacitness, causing the son to perceive his father as cold and harsh, rather than warm and affectionate. The creative part manifests through the father’s love for the son because he always makes sure that the fire is blazing by driving out any cold that his son may feel. Although he may not express his love for his son through his words, the father has a powerful flame of love burning inside of him. Fundamentally, between both poems, the fire and water motifs both illustrate a loving but uncertain relationship that can lead to either life or death these natural elements of fire and water portray the universality of nature: it can be nurturing or dangerous, but it is always beyond human control.

With these motifs, it can be seen that the love that these fathers feel toward their children is unconditional and abundant, but their children cannot realize the extent of this love. In the final analysis, natural imagery shapes a common theme of both poems: individual perspectives determine what is seen and not seen, which is especially true of the generational divide between parents and children. In closing, Levi’s and Hayden’s respective poems “Not Bad, Dad, Not Bad” and “Those Winter Sundays” similarly illustrate the enduring combat of love versus hate however, by applying distinct tones and the imagery of nature, they delve into the significance of but hardships that come with parent-child relationships. In the former poem, “Not Bad, Dad, Not Bad,” the author uses a more remorseful tone and includes an extended metaphor of water to convey the flaws in the parent-child relationship.

However, in the latter poem, “Those Winter Sundays,” the speaker uses a more lonely but reflective tone and the imagery of a burning flame illustrates the love. Upon reflecting on their experiences, these two narrators view the situation with a more mature perspective, and leam to show compassion and, most of all. love. They learn to assume the more positive, creative force, rather than one surrounded by negativity and destruction. Even though the poems may differ in how the relationship weakens and who is the source of this dissociation, they are poems that apply to all of humanity because life could not exist without parents. In parent-child relationships, love and hate may coexist, but a delicate balance is necessary to foster this crucial bond and for children and parents alike to understand the needs of each other.