In a way he is imprisoning himself with Boy’s affairs yet Boy doesn’t seem to mind at all. The narrator has nothing and nobody in his life and the only thing he relates to are Boy’s affairs and he explains everything Boy does against Leola that Boy truly loves her and that all the other girls mean nothing. Then in the final paragraphs the narrator remembers Hahn 4 his past experiences with the physical act of love and how much pleasure it provided him. Now “it annoyed [him] that Boy had her,” although he doesn’t want her but he wants to simply find someone to love his disfigured body.
The narrator believed that Leola really loved him but that Boy made her believe differently. With this fact in the back of his had he was “sour about the whole business” although he didn’t even want her back. The last paragraph talks about the narrator wanting what he had last when Diana left him since he “often yearned for her. ” The relationship between Leola and Boy has revoked the inner feelings in the narrators heart, causing him to want somebody to love and simply become a normal human being again; accepting who he was and what has happened to him.
In the middle of this passage the narrator describes Leola staying an “engaged girl” and about Boy’s weekly visits to do some “heavy petting” with Leola. It also talks about Boy’s experience with “gay girls” who were experts in “French kisses. ” This part of the passage as explained very thoroughly. Foreshadowing, which is present in this section. The narrator talks about this so in detail because later on in the passage he mentions that Leola had “once thought she loved him,” meaning the narrator could be the lucky man not Boy.
It also foreshadows that the narrator wants to “find some other girl” like Leola, so he can share with her what he had with Diana. This extract ends with an allegory, the narrator realizes that what Boy has he doesn’t really want but he wants a girl to love and that loves him. He knew Diana would try to make him something he was not but “that did not stop [him], often and painfully, Hahn 5 from wanting her. ” He rejects the fact that he wants what Boy has all along yet what he really wants is a girl like Leola or Diana.
This passage can be very deceiving at first sight, it seems as if it is about the narrator having a struggle between himself and comparing himself to Boy who seems to have everything but he doesn’t want any of it. Yet underneath all this allusion it can be observed that the narrator really wants a girl and someone to love him. He also doesn’t think Boy has earned everything he has since he hasn’t been disfigured like the narrator has. I think this is a very powerful passage, of course I can’t relate to it since I don’t know how it feels to be so disfigured.
Yet I do know how it feels to love someone and be with him or her all the time and then all of a sudden lose them. This was the worst feeling I have ever had, and that feeling combined with a disfigured body must be terrifying. Also seeing Boy who hasn’t been injured in the war and has a woman like the narrator wants, using her simply as an object of lust. I believe the narrator couldn’t experience more pain at moment. He has experienced pain, jealousy and envy as thoroughly as anyone will ever experience these feelings.