Once upon a time in a place far far away things weren’t

Once upon a time, in a place far, far away, things weren’t turning out so happily ever after.

“ Nooooooooo” wailed prince Ferdinand, his princely composure crumpling. “How am I ever going to live?” He sobbed and sobbed and sobbed some more, until he could not cry anymore. “Princes are supposed to kiss the maiden and have a happily ever after, not this!!”

“ We could still save her” suggested Happy, the dwarf, looking up at the still quite sound asleep snow white.

“How could we possibly do that?” He wept. Suddenly, the sky turned black and the wind howled like a wolf howling at the moon. And then out of the screams of the wind came a voice, it boomed over the forest sending chills down their spines, it spoke,

“ I know what you can do” The voice bellowed. “There is an ancient potion recipe that has been long forgotten that I happen to posses. With it you may bring any one person of your choosing back to life.

”

“What’s the catch?” Grumpy growled. “There’s always a catch.” To be honest, grumpy had the most sense out of the seven.

The voice snickered, quickly covering it up with a cough. “Nothing my dear, it just might be a long and weary journey.”

“ I dunno if I like the sound of long and weary.” Yawned sleepy.

“ What do you suppose we have to do to get this potion that will wake snow white up?” Doc questioned.

“ Oh nothing much, just a few things that are scattered all over the known land, nothing to bad.

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” She winkes. “Oh, and by the way, all of these things you will need to risk your life for, toodles!” she handed Doc a list and poof! She was gone in a burst of magical fairy sparkles. The paper read,

A lock of Rapunzel’s golden hair.

The last rose petal from Belle’s rose.

A gumdrop from the gingerbread house of the blind witch.

The feather that rests upon Peter Pan’s hat.

The spindle that made one sleep for a hundred years.

A piece of straw from the three little pigs home.

A piece of bark only from Grandmother Willow.

“Well” Spoke the prince, clearly out of his sobbing fit. “ I will be generous enough to stay behind and valiantly protect the princess while you guys go and risk your life and stuff. No need to thank me.” He says as he bows towards the dwarfs.

The dwarfs seeing no other option, walked away with their shoulders slumped and divided up jobs.

Chapter 2

Sneezy walked down the narrow pathway that seemed to lead nowhere, “why did I agree to do this?” He thought aloud. He walked into a vast meadow where butterflies roamed and birds sang their melodious songs, he sniffed the fresh air, and began sneezing non stop. “ Of course” he sneezed. Once he made his way through the meadow, he started to see what looked like a giant mountain that seemed to touch the stars, but then he realized it was Rapunzel’s tower. He thought to himself, that was a very easy journey. For a second he did not understand what the women had meant. Sneezy was walking at a particularly fast rate when he came upon a gorge that seemed to appear out of nowhere, he fell of the edge and went rolling left and right until he met the ground with a loud thud, and topped it off with a sneeze. He sat there puzzled, the walls were to steep to climb especially since he clearly did not have the right kind of build for the task. He remembered that Rapunzel’s tower was just in front of the hole, so he called “ Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair” Then he saw the hair make its way down to the bottom. He grabbed a hold and shouted, “will you pull me out please?” She did as asked and when she saw it had been Sneezy she smiled.

“What can I do for you?” She asked with a curious look on her face.

“ Well, I’m glad you asked, you see my friend Snow white was suppose to wake up with a kiss, but she didn’t and now we need all sorts of things to make a potion to save her.”

“ And?” She asked getting impatient.

“ Could I have a piece of your hair?” He looked down as he spoke.

“ What? Of course not, my hair will not be magical anymore then.” She refused. “ Wait a minute, that means my evil mother would have no use of me and I could be free.” She threw down a pair of scissors, forgetting to actually think for a second. They landed right in front of him, he gulped.

“ Thanks?” He quivered. He cut a piece of her hair off and put it in his little pouch. He stopped for a second wondering how he would get back to the other side of the gap, but as he turned around it vanished and he happily walked away with a smile of victory upon his face. Why had it vanished though? He saw Rapunzel’s step-mother and realized why, she screamed in horror at the sight of her daughter with brown non magical hair. Sneezy started to run away before she yelled at him too.

Chapter 3

As Bashful sashayed of into the sunset, he couldn’t help but blush at the sound of getting the last petal of Belles rose. Belle was his favorite disney princess, besides snow white, and on every thursday at two o’clock sharp they had tea. Even though he was slightly hoping for a more challenging task, he was perfectly fine with belle. He knew that she never allowed roses to be grown or stored in the castle, all except for the magical rose and it’s petals. Or at least what was left of them.

He soon arrived upon the castles driveway, and was confused when he saw a note on the front gate. It read;

Dearest Bashful,

I am terribly sorry to have bailed on are tuesday tea this week, but there was an emergency royal council meeting about “sleeping snow”. Not exactly sure what that means, but I guess I will find out when I get there. I left some of your favorite fizzwizzle tea in the pantry, you know where the spare key is, so do let yourself in. Au-revoir!!

-Belle

P.S. I dismissed the household for the weekend, so the castle will be empty.

Bashful started to get overly excited upon the fact that Belle remembered his favorite kind of tea, but then remembered his mission and let himself through the gate. He stopped dead in his tracks. The castle was covered in roses. Red, pink, orange and yellow, climbing sky high and covering the castle in what seemed like a huge blanket. I feel bad for the gardener, he thought, walking to the front door. After looking around for the faux doorbell in which belle cleverly hid the spare key, he realized that there were rose vines growing out of the slot where it had once been. He carefully inspected the rose red mulch that surrounded the castle to see if the overly large key had fallen while all the mass chaos was, ahem, growing, on. He looked right and left until something caught his eye. He followed the vine up and up until it reached a stop, about six stories off the ground, where the overly large key dangled. Bashful sighed. He really didn’t like climbing, it ruined his innocent complexion. But nevertheless, he started up the tower. After about three hours of slipping and sliding up and down the vines, curse his tiny hands, he reached the top. As he reached up for the key, it slowly slipped off of the flimsy vine supporting it and fell to the ground. He sighed and began to shimmy down the mini “jacks beanstalk”. After he had passed three birds nests, two rubber boots, and one random Stella Gaydek, he made it to the bottom and retrieved the overly large key, unlocking the door, and headed to the west wing to retrieve the petal. He made sure to retrieve his tea, and then headed back.

Chapter 4

Dopey made his way into the dark mysterious forest hoping nothing bad would happen. He always managed to get the worst jobs of the seven. A gumdrop? Come on, he just wanted to eat a gumdrop right now. He stumbled upon a clearing in the dense forest. There sat a house. It was covered in gumdrops and frosting and was made out of gingerbread. But sadly, there was bites missing here and there, with one lone gumdrop sitting at the top. Dopey’s stomach started to gurgle. The blind witch opened the door and shouted,

“ Come in! Come in you have nothing to fear!” He knew not to fall for that o’l trick. She walked out the door to figure out what that gurgling sound was. His hunger was giving him away. He sneakily snuck around the corner, silent as could be. He planted his foot on a table made entirely out of hard candy. Then he made his ascent to the top of the home. He tripped on a chunk of gingerbread and the piece went flying and hit the witch in the head, she turned around and grabbed a broom and started to whack to roof trying to get whatever creature that was up there. He grabbed the gumdrop and pulled, but it wouldn’t budge. He tried and tried. Finally, the gumdrop came loose and it flung far away into the woods. He hopped off the house and landed with a wince. Then took off to retrieve the gumdrop. He found it lying in a pile of mud, but decided it’ll have to do. He made his way back out of the forest, and back to Snow White. He escaped the witch. He hoped no children get fooled by the witch, for being almost blind, she was a women who could somehow stare you down into your soul.

Chapter 5

Doc quickly rigged up a very complicated device, he called it a hot air basket balloon, and set off in the air to find the island of neverland. He needed to retrieve the feather from peter pan’s hat. He honestly despised peter pan, for when he was a lost boy, peter had kicked him out of the clan because all he did was study rocks, and never went on their adventures. Nevertheless, he believed that he could win him over. The lost boys had been informed about most to all of peter pans dirty tricks, and now he had a few new ones up his sleeves.

He finally made his descent down to the neverland islands. Although he new where the hangman’s tree, the lost boys secret hideout, was, he decided to take a tour around neverland. He saw no need to rush, for on his hot air basket balloon, the trip took less than an hour.

After he had successfully looked cool around the mermaids, beard flowing in the wind and all. He went to the clearing where the hangman’s tree was. Key word; was. All that was there now was a bunch of blown up stuff. All of a sudden a giant golden boat floated up overhead, blocking out the sun.

“Ahoy!” Peter called. “Come show yourself ye weird balloon thingy!” Doc sighed. He added some heat to the balloon and rose up above the boat. Peter’s face instantly cracked into a humorous smile as he saw his “fired lost boy”.

“ Well, well, well, look who we have here.” Peter cooed.

“Just let me have one of yer feathers.” Doc growled.

“Only if you catch me first.” Peter exclaimed zipping away. Doc went at full speed, maybe three miles per hour, while Peter hovered in the air and yawned. Just then, a cannon exploded right behind Peter, catching him by surprise and making him run headfirst into the balloon. As he slid down the side of the hot air basket balloon, Doc reached out and plucked the feather from his hat, and sped, the full three miles an hour, into the sunrise.

Chapter 6

Sleepy was tired. He didn’t see why he had to go into an enchanted kingdom, literally looking for a needle in a haystack, while everyone around him was sleeping. Even after the spell was lifted, the citizens of sleeping beauty’s kingdom mainly slept, not really ever getting anything done.

He had successfully made it over the mountains dividing cinderella’s and sleeping beauty’s kingdoms, ( He only fell asleep like, five times) And now Princess Aurora’s castle was coming into view. The first thing he noticed was the pile of pizza and donut boxes piled high by the side of the castle, making it looked like it had and extra tower. He then saw the dirty clothes strewn about, even before he made it into the castle. When he finally made it over the pile of dirty underwear and stinky socks, he gasped at what he saw inside. It reminded him of his room, at least, before there cousin cleany came over and organized the house from top to bottom. (He even starched their socks. Who DOES that?)

Anyway, when he looked inside, he knew that it wasn’t because they had a lazy staff. The piles were constantly being “dismantled” by the servants, only to be added to be the queen, which he eventually found behind a couple piles of gossip magazines. He approached her.

“Ummmm, Hello your majesty? He said bowing slightly.

“Sup?” She half shouted. “Want some pizza?” Sleepy, slightly confused, stayed silent for a second, until he realized that she was simply just tired. She had been for awhile, he noted, looking around.

“No thanks.” He replied. “But if you would so kindly allow me to borrow your magic spindle?”

“Sure.” She replied. “Its somewhere over there.” She said gesturing to the entire area of the throne room and yawning.

“Oh no,” and new voice rang out. “I’m so sorry for having to make you deal with her.” Sleepy looked up to see Prince Phillip making a quick descent down the stairs. “She’s been a bit tired after she woke up.”

“I noticed” Sleepy joked. Prince Phillip chuckled along.

“The spindle is in that haystack over there.” He handed him a weird thing, MAGNET, it read, and than continued to attend to his wife, who was slowly falling asleep.

Sleepy waved it over the haystack, assuming it was a magic wand, when suddenly the spindle came flying out of the haystack, sticking to the weird contraption. He grabbed it and the started to walk back home, waving goodbye to the King and Queen.

Chapter 7

Happy, happily hopped down the old dirt path, when he suddenly recognized this part of the woods and suddenly wasn’t so happy. He knew this was the home of the big bad wolf and preferably did not want to get eaten that day, or any other day as well. He made his way down a hill and stumbled upon an old twig house. “ Aww man!” I am looking for the straw house. “Oh well,” he cheered up quickly. Then he came upon an small brick house. Seriously. He saw the three little pigs eating chicken noodle soup through the window, then he saw the big bad wolf approach the house.

“ I’ll huff and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your house down” He growled. Then the pig said the same as usual.

“ Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin” and so on. Happy rolled his eyes. He kept walking assuming that the brick house was sturdy enough. Then he finally stumbled upon the straw house. He frowned at the sight of a pile of straw.

“ Well , looks like the wolf has been here” He grabbed a piece straw and skipped all the way back to save his best friend, but suddenly the wolf stopped him.

“ Where might you be going?” He snarled.

“ Uh, you um uh you see, I am kind of in a hurry, do you mind?”

“Hmmm.” The wolf considered eating him for a meal, but realized he was way too small and had no body fat, he surely would not do.” “ Carry on,” He walked away with a look of despair. He didn’t get any food for his big, bad stomach.

Chapter 8

Grumpy finally made his way down the old cobblestone path that led to the sea. Nothing like the fresh smell of salt. He gathered all the logs and twigs he could find and used old fishing wire to tie them together. Once the logs were closely snuggled up, he set the raft down in the water. It was only a short ride to the other side of the island and decided it would be much safer than going through a forest filled with thieves. He set sail and paddled and paddled, until he could finally see land. As he came upon shore he was graciously met with several arrows flying towards him. He quickly dropped to the ground until the arrows stopped.

“ Come forth” Chief Powhatan bellowed. Grumpy slowly slithered in front of the chief. The chiefs stern look soften as he realized who he saw. “ Hold fire” He shouted. He wrapped his arm around Grumpy and walked off with him, Grumpy tried squirming, but that did not work.

“ I don’t have all day sir, I need to speak with Pocahontas. “It’s very important.”

“ She’s over in the cornfields” He told him. “We had a little harvest this year, so watch out.”

“ Thanks” He rolled his eyes and waddled over to Pocahontas. “ I need to speak with your grandmother. May I?” She nodded to busy to look up from her corn husking.

“ Where might she be?” He asked trying to sound as sweet as he possibly could.

“ She is down the path second turn on the left. She’s a little grumpy” She whispered the last part so no one could hear the insult. He walked down the path until he reached the second turn, grandmother willow was singing one of her mysterious songs that are way too deep for him to understand. Once she noticed she had a visitor she smiled. “ Hi, um I was just wondering if I could have a piece of your bark.

“ And Why on earth would you need that?”

“ It’s Snow White she has eaten a poisonous apple and she won’t wake up, we need all sorts of things to save her,” he tried his very best to sound sincere, but that word wasn’t in his vocabulary. She chuckled.

“ Why of course” she said delightedly. “ But next time, practice being truly sincere before you ask for something” She chuckled some more.

“ Hey, I can’t help it, it’s kind of expressed in my name” He chuckled too. He grabbed a piece of bark and took off back to his raft and back to Snow White. Grandmother Willow smiled, she always felt better after talking to someone grumpier than her.

Chapter 9

They somehow miraculously made it back to the clearing when they had begun this journey at the same time, ( This was a fairy tale world) and wasted no time in waking up prince ferdinand, who had so conveniently fallen asleep, and yelled out for the weird crazy lady.

Soon the enchantress appeared with the lighting and smoke, not really as frightening as it was the first time and smiled at the dwarfs.

“Here,” she called. “Give me the ingredients.” The dwarf did so without hesitation. As soon as all the ingredients touched her hands, a beautiful golden potion magically appeared in her hands, blue and green, sparkly and mystical.

“Ha!” She called “Gotcha!” At first the dwarfs were confused, but than she snached the potion up into her cloak.

“NOOOOOOOO!!!” The prince yelled, charging straight at her. They began a duel, sword on magic, while the dwarfs cheered them on. Well, the prince on anyway.

“I need it for my friend!” The sorcerer yelled in between spells. She froze for a split second, waiting for her words to sink in, when prince ferdinand slashed right through her. She than exploded into clouds of fairy dust and purple, blue and green colored powder.

Doc then retrieved the potion and handed it to Prince ferdinand, who held it up to Snow white’s lips for her to drink.

Soon, her eyes fluttered open.

“Halleluyah!” Prince ferdinand shouted. Then, all over the fairy tale world, all the people who had helped them make the potion, problems were fixed. Rapunzel was let down from her tower and sleeping beauty immediately awoke. Pocahontas’s fields replenished themselves and belle’s tower was freed from roses. Peter pan’s hideout was brought back to life, and the three little pigs houses were rebuilt, better than ever. As for the witch, well nobody liked her, so she disappeared, but on the bright side, they got a huge candy house in return. All in all, this story truly has a happily ever after.

The End