What Does It Mean to Fall in Love?

Everyone has heard at least one love song; my personal favorite is “Can‘t help falling in love” by Elvis Presley. You could pick any love song and odds are it is all about falling in love with someone, not truly loving themi Falling in love with someone means they are perfect, it is the honeymoon phase. Loving someone means you want to help them grow, you see what they need and you want to help them become a superior person in their own image.

They are not flawless, and you accept that But you do not accept the idea that they cannot become better because you know that they cant Falling in love is not the same as choosing to love someone. Falling in love is effortless and unpredictable. It can happen with someone that you would never want a relationship and the feeling can be unwanted at times, But, falling in love can also elude us, you may not have the experience with someone that a romantic relationship would be favorable.

You cannot choose to fall in love with someone but you can choose to love them, Real love requires two basic things, effort and a choice You chose to help your significant other grow as a person As M. Scott Peck says love is “the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another‘sanother spiritual growth”. When you fall in love, you see your partner as having been made perfect and that they do not don‘t need to change You ignore their flaws and other things that are imperfect of them.

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Falling in love is often a way of ending loneliness, not developing as a person Humans as a people are defensive and set up boundaries to prevent people from finding out things we do not want them to know Love is the one thing that can break down these boundaries and make us vulnerable,“We are lonely because we are trapped behind these things called ego boundaries, Ego boundaries are defined as “the extension of one’s self” (M. Scott Pecke).

Ego boundaries begin developing when we are little. Oour set of physical boundaries are developed by the end of our first year of life, by the end of the “terrible twos” we have learned that we do not control our parents. We are stuck behind these boundaries, and it is lonely. When we have the experience of falling in love we are temporarily able to escape these boundaries. You can fall in love with someone and be with them for the rest of your lives. In ancient Greece they had six different forms of love, eros, philia, ludus, agape, pragma, and philautia. Each type of love had a different meaning, eros was a sexual driven, passionate form of love and it was often thought of as relating to young lovers. This is the word they would use to describe the feeling of falling in love with someone They believed that a couple could start out with eros and it would develop into pragma. Pragma or, “mature love”, is the deep understanding that marriedyou find in couples that have for each other when they have been married for a long time Eros frightened the Greeks because it would make you lose sight, and lose control.

Eventually though the passion between the two lovers will dies and the bubble of perfection will ruptureburst, What happens after this is up to the couple, they either decide to face the hardships with one another and begin to grow or they give up and all they annoying little tendencies will drive themselves apart. Falling in love is fast and passionate, it is easy. Being in love requires time, effort, and acceptance. In the article “Have You Tried the Six Varieties of Love?” the psychoanalysts Erich Fromm states that “We expend too much energy falling in love and need to learn more how to stand in love”. People want the feeling of perfection, they want to find someone who is simply their “one true love” as we are told we all have from all of the Walt Disney movies. People They do not want to find someone that is a work in progress, So obviously people would choose to fall in love with a perfect person than take a person who is trying to grow and help them grow more, You can choose to love someone after the bubble pops, butjust because you experience falling in love with them does not mean you will love each other in the long run.