Grief in A Separate Peace

The five stages of loss and grief, created by Elisabeth Kiibler-Ross, are part of a theory that describes how humans deal with death and dying. The protagonists in the novel A Separate Peace, by John Knowles, were affected by tragedies, Kiibler—Ross’s theory on grief is shown throughout the novel and how each person copes with this obstacle in different ways; some positively and some negatively. Dr. Elisabeth Kiibler-Ross is a well-known psychiatrist and professor of the University of Chicago She came up with an idea while working with people and students on how people deal with loss and grief, While at hospitals and seminars she listened to the voices of the dying and the people dealing with loss; her book On Death and Dying (what the dying have to teach doctors, nurses, clergy and their own families), was written based on her experiences There are actually more than five stages of grief according to Professor Allan Kellehear, but Kiibler» Ross is known for narrowing them down five which are denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance Really, there are about six or seven but few count the seventh stage as a stage.

The seven that are now found are shock, denial and isolation, anger, bargaining and guilt, depression, acceptance, and hope (which was present since the beginning).

Shock, the recovery and reaction rate varies from minutes to days, the body is trying to protect itself from the overwhelming emotions that come when losing someone, A person in shock usually just sits and needs assistance in basic daily needs, Gene, one of the protagonists of the novel A Separate Peace, experiences shock when he realizes what he had done after causing his best friend to fall from a tree.

Get quality help now

Prof. Finch

Verified

Proficient in: A Separate Peace

4.7 (346)

“ This writer never make an mistake for me always deliver long before due date. Am telling you man this writer is absolutely the best. ”

+84 relevant experts are online

Hire writer

Gene had a hard time understanding the full results of his actions, he isolated himself, and attempted to empty his mind of who he was or what he was doing, The second time Finny fell and broke the same leg as his first fall, the same feeling of shock took a hold of Gene. As Finny was being carried away back into the infirmary, he couldn’t find the right words to communicate with others surrounding him.

He wanted very much to help Finny but he felt responsible for his fall Gene’s final moment of shock was after Finny died; Finny’s second fall turned out to be fatal, When the bone was reset some of the marrow went to his heart and stopped it When Gene heard the news of his best friend‘s death, he simply stood in place repeating what he was just told. He stayed in his shocked state until Finny’s funeral; unable to truly make sense of what had happened to his only frien. Gene truly displayed the emotions of what it was like to be in shock, Denial, the first thing that usually goes through an individual’s mind is “no, that‘s not possible”, they try to find a mistake in the devastating information just learned, it is a temporary defense that in most cases increases distress. Phineas the second protagonist in the novel A Separate Peace used denial the most often in the book, When his best friend Gene came to his house, to confess he was the cause of the incident Finny refused to listen to him, He went so far as to threaten him if he tried to confess anything of the sort again.

Finny‘s secret dream was to enlist and fight in the war along with Gene; but because his leg was shattered and he was unable to use it to its full potential, the army rejected him, Finny’s way of coping with the disappointing news was denying the war even existed. He would get very upset with people that disagreed, especially Gene. Finny even refused to accept that the Olympics would not be happening that year, he refused to accept it because he didn‘t want to believe in the war. Finny finally confessed to Gene before his death that he had been sending letters to military leaders all over the world so he could participate (page 190- Knowles), When reading the book A Separate Peace, you notice that Finny never showed anyone how he really felt about his situation. He never cried, he never let his leg get the best of him; the bad thing about that is- it all exploded in the end.

Finny never addressed his issue, it almost ruined a friendship and prevented him from moving on, Gene also went through denial, he didn’t want to face Finny’s disability, and he tried to avoid acknowledging it which led to confrontations with other students, Brinker and Ladley. Gene did not cry throughout the story, he never tried to address how he felt until the very end and it didn‘t make sense to him. Gene ended up laughing while Finny was injured and realized he was crying. When reading A Separate Peace, you notice how both Gene and Finny try to be ‘manly’ and not face the emotions they are feeling, by the end of the book it proved to be unhealthy. Anger, this stage consists of bitter feelings of resentment and envy. A person thinks ‘why me?’ and ‘why not him?’ Many individuals surrounded by this angry person do not know how to handle or cope with it because the anger inside this person is displaced everywhere.

When Finny was forced to realize he was not going to get any better and his leg was broken again, he was angry. He was forced to face that he could not deny his friend ruined his sports and war chances one night when taken by his peers to face a mock trial. Finny became enraged and stormed out of his trial cursing but in his haste he fell breaking his leg again. He was so angry and hurt he took it out on the people around him showing their concern, antagonized the doctors by speaking in other languages and he yelled at Gene in a blind rage. Finny was angry he was unable to take part in the war and he expressed this near the end of the book, he felt he would hate everything if he could not fight with the other young people of his generation. Gene felt anger in this novel mostly as a result of Finny’s first fall, he was angry with himself that he would do anything like that.

Gene felt upset with himself because he knew that it was ridiculous to think that Finny was ever a bad friend, He was upset that Finny’s athletic days came to an abrupt end because of his malicious actions Gene pushed this anger down until another student called him maimed, this anger at the fact he maimed his friend was displayed into violence, He punched his peer in the face and threatened him, Gene was more angry at himself that he was at the other student but he took it out on him anyway. He felt if he fought this student over his rude comments, he could forgive himself and it would somehow help his best friend Finny Bargaining, this stage is seen as very helpful to the ‘victim’ because it pushes them to face what is happening to them. They feel that if they can make some kind of deal with a higher power it will postpone what is going to happen anyway. Gene was very big on trying to justify and bargain with himself to delay what was happening around him.

When he and Finny were dragged to their mock trial, an AWOL soldier names Leper was used as a witness. He was a boy that used attend their school, he was very shy and awkward before he enlisted. This witness was going to be discharged from the army because he was disturbed mentally, because Gene was aware of this he tried to tell those around him anything he said couldn‘t be taken seriously because he was disturbed. After Finny’s second fall, Gene went to visit him. They talked and in Gene’s mind he felt if he just went along with what Finny was saying they would stay friends and everything would be okay. Finny and Gene talked about the accident and Gene tried to explain what happened in the tree but before he could, Finny did it for him. Gene nodded, agreed, and hastily tried to somehow make Finny feel better.

Finny was still very unhappy that he was unable to participate in the war but Gene did everything in his power to explain why Finny couldn’t possibly be in the war. Gene felt that Finny was not made to be in a war because he was too friendly. Finny would teach the enemies English and play with them, he would be a friend and not a soldier, Finny was not made to kill people in Gene’s opinion, this somehow helped justify how Finny’s injury didn’t change much. Finny continuously attempted to find a section in the military that would take him despite his leg He felt that if he sent enough letter to enough powerful people he would be placed in a good division and sent to fight a war, When he was speaking with Gene he told him why he was denying there was a war. Finny felt that if he couldn’t take part in the war, there wasn‘t any war going on, He was bargaining with himself that if he denied its existence then everything would be fine and he wouldn’t have to feel as bad as he felt about his condition.

When Finny first broke his leg he tried to make himself feel better by living through his best friend Gene. Finny felt that if he could get Gene into sports like he was, Gene would be doing it for him and that would make him feel better about his disability. During depression, the saddest stage of all to witness; one feels that they are losing who they are because of their inability to do things. They slowly become withdrawn and sometimes shut down. No one in A Separate Peace displayed any emotions showing any depression, some were saddened by things but not depressed. Finny and Gene were both saddened by Finny’s fall, it hindered Finny and it made Gene feel guilty. Finny felt very sad because he was unable to participate in the war, he felt helpless. After Finny’s first fall he had to be sent home, during Finny’s absence Gene felt he lost his identity, Gene felt like he was no one, he even wore some of Finny’s clothes.

Both children experienced sadness because of the losses they were forced to face, but not a deep depression. Acceptance is the final period in which an individual finally is able to face their given fate. They are able to talk about their previous feelings [mentioned in the earlier stages]. They have had their time to mourn about the things they have lost and will lose. Finny was finally able to face the fact that he was permanently disabled at the end of the novel. He clearly expressed his disappointments and jealousies as a result of his condition, Finny also showed how he had come to terms with it through his tears and acknowledgments of other negative incidents, such as Gene being the cause of his injury. Gene had a lot to accept and when given the time he did He eventually faced the fact that he caused his best friend to fall out of a tree, Gene knew he was responsible and he came to terms with it. After Finny’s death, years later when he came back to the school he realized that after Finny died, he took all of Gene’s negative feelings with him.

Gene finally came to terms with his best friends death. Gene was forced to grow up quickly clue to the war; because of this he was able to accept his duty as a ‘man‘ to enlist in the war. He initially wanted to wait because of Finny and because he was afraid but after his best friend’s death he felt he had something to fight for. Hope, it isn‘t a stage but it remains a constant throughout any distressing situation, It helps soothe people by giving them the will to fight for life Some call it denial but it is a helping hand in the transition to death. Gene constantly hoped for Finny’s leg to completely heal after his first fall He was devastated at the fact that his best friend’s whole life came to a screeching halt because of one accident. Gene’s constant hope for Finny’s well being

helped him get through the day, Gene knew Finny was his only true friend so after his death he hoped Finny was in a better place and at peace. Finny also hoped constantly hoped to help him survive each day; he tried to play sports and continue with his usual activities, He hoped everything would return back to normal without anyone’s pity or concern. Finny’s hope motivated him to keep sending requests to different branches of the military; he knew his leg was going to prevent from enlisting be the tried anyway because his hope that he would he need pushed him forwardt Hope remained present, following each growing boy in the novel; it helped the children cope and deal with the tragedies and losses that came with becoming a man, Each person in A Separate Peace, had their own emotions to face and handles. They dealt with them differently and used different coping methods. Elizabeth Kiibler»Ross was not only accurate with her stages but they were displayed very well in A Separate Peace.