Old Problems Pop Up Often

For as long as I can remember, my mother and father were divorced. I believe I was three at the time. I noticed that my parents tended to want to have their own needs met after the divorce—to find happiness again with someone new. The only issue was, old problems often resurfaced for my mother and father, and several new problems are accounted for, their daughter. It’s not that my parents love me less or worry less about me, it’s that they are occupied in reconstructing their own lives—economically and socially.

My parents’ and I’s needs were often out of sync. From a young age, I began caring for myself academically. I didn’t really have anyone to support me, so I simply relied on myself.

Relying on yourself is not selfish or vain, like many may claim, but simply is the best way to ensure you have deep pockets of strength to hold you up in times when you are left fighting a battle alone.

Self reliance reinforces each trait you carry. Without self reliance, I would have remained in the shadows, never finding a voice to speak up. As human beings, we tend to look for happiness from others. Though, I noticed that it’s an unreliable source of happiness. Other people will come and go, or they’ll be emotionally unavailable for their own personal reasons. And here’s the thing: it’s not their job to fill our emotional needs. I shouldn’t have to be spoon-fed by my parents.

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They are struggling trying to meet their own needs. Instead of looking for happiness from someone else, I realized that it’s not out there. It’s within.

Results are the children of hard work. As long as one is motivated, they can do anything. I’m driven by said results—I like it when I have a definitive objective to meet, and a suitable amount of time to figure out a strategy for attaining it. Typically, I am responsible for projects where I supervised squads, such as those in JROTC, and carried out reasonable and comprehensible processes. You’ll find that I am galvanized by the challenge of finishing important assignments ahead of schedule, and at the same time, leading the squad to reach the battalion’s goals. Being the overachiever, I have always been enticed by the desire to meet a deadline. Establishing and accomplishing the deadlines I give myself gives me a sense of triumph. Hence, why I love being organized. I usually construct an itinerary for completing each task, achieving my deadlines. An example of this trait was when I helped run an LGBTQ+ event last year, where I organized the amount of time we had to maximize efficiency—managing finances, members, information, etc. In short, achieving each milestone motivates me to keep working.

Though one would think an “overachiever” is considered good thing and denotes an incentive for drudgery, the hard truth is that “overachiever” is often said with a hint of scorn. I noticed that it’s regarded as the same syntax as overconfident, whereas there shouldn’t be such a thing as “being too accomplished.” I think that there is a desire in everyone to accomplish more, and that is the motivation we need. It’s like a hunger, or a desire. The more aspiration, the more ambition. I believe people, such as myself, should be encouraged to strive for new heights without being shamed for caring enough to try. That’s the only way we’ll continue to move forward, make progress and create breakthroughs.