This paper is going to identify an occurrence of invidious comparison and vicarious traumatization that I’ve experienced. Invidious comparison happens each and every day to practically everyone in the world. It is human nature to compare themselves to others, Reflection When I think about invidious comparison and if I’ve ever done it, there is only one answer, yes. Unfortunately I feel that I compare myself to many different people at different times.It could be the guy at the grocery store, or the guy on TV, it could even be one of my friends.
The truth is I compare myself to other people in order to make myself feel better. Understandably this is an immoral thing to do, I feel as if I put people down in my mind just to feel better. I do believe though that I am not the only one who does this. I feel that every person in the world compares themselves to another individual, whether they choose to or not, it might happen unconsciously.
I vividly remember this one time where I compared myself not to a man but a woman, yes a woman.This happened about ten years ago. This woman was in her twenty-nine, she was happily married, had a great job and family, but most of all she looked happy, genuinely happy. True happiness, I felt was hard to come by. People always had something negative to say about their life such as, “ugh my wife is so annoying,” “ugh I hate my job,” “ugh my kids are driving me crazy.
” This woman though, she was different. I never heard one negative thing come out of her mouth, and I’ve known her for many, many years. I always thought to myself that I wanted to be just like her, well the make version of course.I always compared my life to hers, she had a great job, and I had a mediocre job. She was happily married, I was in an on and off again relationship. She had a very happy family, I had a family that seemed to be struggling to stay afloat. Even though I always felt sad when I compared my life to hers. I used it as motivation, motivation to turn my life around and be in the same place she is in her life when I became the same age as her. Now when I look at my life I feel that I’ve succeeded. Knowing now-a-days, how people compare themselves to others. I feel that it is time that we stop.Although it is much harder than it seems. Comparing one another is something we do, there will always be someone stronger, smarter, more attractive, and wealthier. The key is not to let it affect us. An individual will always have something that no one else will. It will differ from each individual. We need to just look at our own life and see what we can do to make it better. If becoming a helper will fill a hole in your life, as it does mine, then do it. If becoming a parent does then do it. We need to stop looking at other people’s lives and focus on our own. We are on this earth for one reason, to live.So we need to stop dwelling on what we don’t have, and go out there and get it, and live, go out and live life. Life is too short to keep complaining about what other people have. Everyone just needs to live life to its fullest. Now there is the topic of vicarious traumatization, this is something that hits ne pretty hard. I am a very emotional and empathetic person. Personally I try to let other people deal with certain traumas in their life alone, without butting my nose into their business. There are those times where they need an outside hand to help them out and I’m there.In order for me not to be traumatized, just as my friend are, I need to be the rock the hard place. I need to be strong for them and help them out. If I become traumatized just as the other person what help would I be? If I’m to help people then I must muster up the strength and be strong. I need not let my emotion get the best of me. There is a time and place for me to be emotional, and when I’m helping someone is definitely not the time. In the workplace being strong is very important, this is the place where people are coming for help. You need to be the person that they could lean on, rely on, to be there for them.Yes it is ok to feel sad for them but don’t let sadness overwhelm you. Be there for them and comfort them, show them that you care by standing strong. There are many ways to help yourself not be vicarious traumatized. You can understand that you are in this field to help people, and there is undoubtedly the chance that you will meet a much traumatized individual. You will be there to help this person. Leave your sob stories at the door, understand that you will need not to share any of your stories with the clients as it might make them more traumatized and defeat the purpose of why they are there.We are here to help people with their traumatizations, not to burden with our own traumatizations. So, comparing ourselves to each other is going to happen, it is our nature. We can, although, take what we find in our comparisons and use it for motivation. When we compare ourselves to other we need not share our comparisons as it might lead to putting down someone. We should just view each other’s as equals, just as God does. When it comes to vicarious traumatization’s we need to stay strong for those who are currently weak. We need to be the one to help them hold their heads high.We need to leave our sob stories at home and not bring them to work. We just need to stand by our client’s side and help relieve their burdens, no matter what. Just because we hear someone traumatizing story, doesn’t mean we need to fold and begin to cry just as they are. We need to keep the dry eye, and help our clients, this is what will keep them coming to you for help, because when you stay strong for them, they can really see that you care and want to help them. References Martin, M. E. (2007). Introduction to human services: Through the eyes of practice settings. Boston, MA: Allyn and Bacon.