I cannot hide my thoughts and emotions. I cannot bear this torment longer; I must let out the beast within me. This world, this mad, sad world, it has driven me close to insanity. It’s like a blade, folds of a thousand and each fold only make it stronger, like the madness I am fueling on. Every day as I live, I tell myself that I should smile and go along with the commands of my father, brother, and you.
Your orders Hamlet, I have gone according to every wish you have asked. But why? Why should I go around following and letting the likes of you order me around? All men are the same. You, father, brother, everyone in this sad world! Oh, Yes lord this, Yes Lord that, Yes Lord everything! Why? Is it because I am a woman you can order me around as you wish!?
I am disgusted by what everyone think of me.
You men frustrate me every time. Oh, Hamlet, do you think I am your slave? A maid? A simple object you can use and toss around with? All you typical men speak to me with disrespect and corruption. “Or, if thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool, for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them”. Really? Marry a fool? Cheat on them? You really think I’m that of a monster to do any of that? You probably think us women are just prostitutes, a sex object you can come to and please yourself.
Well, we’re not, and without us you probably can’t even cook, clean, or do anything by yourself. Just because your whore of a mother married your uncle without a split second to think about her marriage, doesn’t give you the right to believe that I will do the same. Every one of you hopeless men can’t do anything without us, yet you still mistreat and use us for your greed. Oh, I only wish I were to live in a society where both men and women are equal and where free speech is allowed. I live each day with no such freedom, only to be forced to obey all commands of your kind. You might thought I would defy any such orders. No, such action would bring severe punishments. This society, nothing will stop you men from using us as tools. The harsh social inequality affects me like a burn, oh, how do I live in such world. It’s like I’m underwater, unable to breathe. All this ruthless chaos in the air, how can I live on with such peaceful mind.
Right after your uncle became king, you’ve become a lunatic I tell you. You weren’t like this before. You were so loving and caring, and most of all happy. But when you came into my room that day, grabbing my arm and looked deep into my eyes, I knew something wasn’t right. That ugly image of you dirty and foul smell, it has left a mark on my head forever remembering that sad scene. Has the fallen king driven you so deep into madness that you can’t even see your foolish actions have affected the surrounding people? Well, it has. Especially when you cold-heartedly killed my beloved father, oh my father whom I loved wholeheartedly loved so dear much.
Oh the sadness and agony, how do you still walk on this land not feeling guilt or shame? Have you ever thought about how your actions could affect my brother and I? My well being? My mentality? I’m sure you knew who was behind the curtains, but your madness wouldn’t allowed such second thoughts. Oh, why Hamlet? Why do you do these hideous actions? What has my father ever done to you or your family? We’ve been loyal to the King, Queen, and you, yet you act like God and have sentenced our fate to hell. With such loyalty and respect, is this what we receive in return? Why? Why? Why, Hamlet, Why? The thought of you and the death of my father overwhelms me with horrifying sadness. Oh, the sadness of losing you, both physically and mentally. Oh, my dear Hamlet, I still love you, but it is you who have pushed me away, casted me out and branded me as damaged goods. You left with my heart broken, filled with sadness, pain, and grief. My fragile heart, oh, my fragile heart. It is almost like the world is turning against on me along with my thoughts and actions.
Even now if you turn back to normal, I won’t go with you. Your hands are dirty and stained with my father’s blood. With my mind almost gone, I don’t believe we can ever meet again the same as we use to. Hell, I can hardly speak to you either. Your mind has already been corrupt. I still think of the day when you visit me and stayed. But that’s the past, and I can’t stop thinking about it even though I want to. I guess, I still love you somewhere in me. If I find the strength of Hercules to live in this vile world, what do I get in return? Nothing. Nothing will happen if I kept chasing you, who has abandoned me for god knows what reason it was.
The world is unfair to not only me but others as well. If I stay, what will happen? This society is corrupt; no one gives a damn anymore. The rich only greeds and gains more than they should, and the poor begs for only what they need to survive. All you men use gender inequality as a weapon against us woman. Oh, shall I stay any longer will I continue to suffer? I shall perish into the night and rise as the sun rises, but only as nothing but spirit. To leave this empty world full of chaos will it liberate my grief and despair, and give me an opportunity to start fresh. Yes, it all makes sense now. Death is the only way to escape. Goodbye Hamlet. Goodbye world.