The Blessing of Family Life Essay
In this chapter “Growth in Marriage: The Blessing of Family Life,” there are three main points that are basically what the chapter is about. The three points are 1) The Seasons of a Marriage, 2) Ongoing Adjustments in Married Life and 3) Three stances toward relationships and two other points are 4) The healthy family and 5) Toward a “Civilization of Love.”
In class several groups made presentations on current moral issues. Take for instance, the issue about Bishop Greene making his controversial statement about blowing up parliament if a law was passed to allow same sex marriages. I feel that he should not have apologized for his actions because in the Bahamas we have the right to speak what is on our minds or as we call it “freedom of speech.”
Marriage is seen as honorable and holy in God’s eyes. But some people choose to go against God’s plan for man and woman and decide to engage in sexual relations or even marriage with the same sex. These types of actions are not desirable or pleasing to God. I feel as though if our society accepts these types of behavior we would be drifting further away from God and going against his plan. The act of true love would not be present in same sex marriages in my opinion because I feel that true love can only take place between a man and woman. Even though it can be made legalized it will still not be acceptable to God.
I basically chose this chapter because yes, I plan to get named someday and I feel as though this would be a good guideline to help me along the way. Marriage is a “work in progress” as stated in this chapter. Another reason is that I feel that this chapter can show that all marriages are not happy and that the couple has to grow and adjust constantly in order to make the marriage work. Both couples have to put effort to make their marriage successful and I fell that this chapter should benefit me in the future.
What are seasons of a marriage? Well everyone knows that the first two years of a marriage would be a period of happiness, but as you get into the third and fourth year the couple will have more responsibilities such as having children and making a suitable environment for them. This draws the couple closer together and the children renew their parents’ sense of wonder and hope. Questions like “Will both partners be involved in child care?,” and “Will one income be sufficient for family needs?” challenge the couple to grow in new ways. Year’s six to twelve are said to be difficult because as the couple is growing professionally, personally, and parentally, the busyness of their lives may cause them to lose touch with each other. They tend to grow in different directions or sometimes one person may grow and the other stays the same. This period is one of decision making about their relationship. Most couples might make it into the thirteenth and eighteenth year, this period is free of some of the pressures and strains of the so called previous season.
A renewal of marriage is experienced and in a way the couple becomes reacquainted. They might spend more time together seeing that their children as reached the stage of adolescence. In this stage the couple learns the balance between guidance and firmness and also letting go and trust of their children. But being parents of adolescents can also be a struggle to many couples but in the end the couple appreciates this growth, and the family relationship strengthens over the years. In the later years like twenty-four to forty when the children have left home the couple establish new and deeper bonds. They became creative and spend their time together, whether it is traveling or hobbies with one another. Years forty and beyond are described as growing old together. The couple may come to an appreciation of each other. If they were open to each other in their previous years, they can find that their after years together and each season of their marriage, even the hard times are significant and joyous.
The next point is Ongoing Adjustments in Married Life. The choices couples make help shape their marriage. The move towards thinking as a couple and rather than thinking as individuals is never accomplished in the first couple years of marriage. The desires and needs of each person change and emerge. Sexual expression changes throughout a marriage, these changes require the couples to be sensitive and responsive to each other’s expectations. Sexual intercourse can be a powerful unifier for a couple. It can bring a joy and renewal to two persons that have committed their lives to each other. Sexual expression that is satisfying for both partners takes time to learn. Financial issues influence the relationship in many ways. A couple may not be able to have some of the conveniences they hoped for or may not be able to live in the area they would like. A husband and a wife should discuss thoroughly who will pay bills, balance accounts, etc. The roles of the couple changes and pressure on men to diversify their roles are not as great, but men do realize that they have to help out their wife. The couple must deal or cope with crisis that may arouse in their lives as a whole and not separate.
The next point is Three Stances toward Relationships. They are faithfulness to each other, hospitality to new life and openness to community. Faithfulness is the development of the relationship is of the highest priority to the couple. They have faith that deeper love is possible. Some indications of a couple’s faithfulness are 1) They spend time together, 2) They support and affirm each other, 3) They trust each other, 4) They develop many types of intimacy with each other and 5) They see their relationship as one of constant discovery. Hospitality to new life is the sense of welcoming any children because they are honored as guests and blessings. Openness to Community is when married couples are called to widen their love to include friends. Families show their openness to Community by involving the whole family in service. Marriage partners that remain faithful to each other, welcoming to new life and open to community are on their way to building a healthy family.
Yes everyone is entitled to freedom, but to some extent. In no way should the marriage of two people of the same sex be accepted. It was not in God’s will for such a thing to take place. The same sex couple would be disobeying God and they would also be depriving themselves of having natural children.
These insights are applicable to my peers and I because some people might not feel as though they know who they are and this information will be useful to them and help them to understand things about their sexuality that they are unsure of.
I feel that socially these insights can help any individual that is unsure of their sexuality and thinking about engaging in homosexuality. Psychologically, I think that a person who is wishing to become homosexual can not be in their right mind. They must be struggling with their identity of making wrong choices. Spiritually I feel that a homosexual marriage is morally wrong. I think people choose to be homosexual and are not born that way or being forced into it.
The content of the chapter gives married couples a good insight on what to expect in their lives and how to cope with the many difficult changes they will go through. The presentations shared were very informative, such as the matter on homosexuality.
To conclude, yes marriage is a great thing, but there is no promise that it will be smooth sailing. The couple will go through different changes, or as the book says different seasons. Ongoing Adjustments which help to shape the marriage, faithfulness to each other is an important factor. Friends can also be adopted to help with times that may be hard for the couple. A healthy family should be build if the couple stays faithful, open to community and welcome new life.
I feel as though I discussed the points of this chapter thoroughly and in a way that is understandable to my peers.
I can say that I benefited from this chapter because I never knew that marriages cold be so much work and all the struggles that can take place. There are different stages and seasons of a marriage that a couple must go through. The presentation helped me a lot in understanding what homosexuality is and how it comes about.