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When I look back on my life’s goal, I had a perfect life planned out. At age 34, I should be looking forward for retirement but today I am a freshman in college. What I have learned on my life journey is that life does not always turn out the way we imagine or dream.
I have had many deep valleys in my lifetime. There were days I did not know I would be where I am today. This paper will be looking at my joys and sorrows. It will also point out the reason why I decided to go to college at this point of my life. Where I was born I was born in a Clarendon, Jamaica. Clarendon is a parish in Jamaica.
It is located on the south of the island, roughly half-way between the islands eastern and western ends.
Located in the county of Middlesex, it is bordered by Manchester. Clarendon was named in honor of the celebrated Lord Chancellor, Sir Edward Hyde, and Earl of Clarendon. The parish was formed from a combination of three parishes: St. Dorothy’s, Vere and the old parish of Clarendon. Before the merger, the capital was Chapelton. The current capital, May Pen, was established as a plantation settlement by the British between 1660 and 1683 on a crossing point of the Rio Minho River.
May Pen is now said to be the fastest growing rural town close to Kingston. It is well located from an administrative point of view, in the centre of a largely agricultural area, and as a midpoint on the Kingston to Manchester road. The capital of the parish, May Pen, is located at latitude 17°44’N, longitude 77°09’W. Covering an area of 1,196 sq km, Clarendon ranks as the third largest parish. The parish is predominantly a wide plain, marked by several rivers, including the Rio Minho River, which runs the length of the parish.
Toward the northern end of the parish lies the Mocho Mountain, (200 ft), and Bull Head Mountain range (2800 ft), which is considered to be the geographical centre of the island. The Vere plain are other significant geographical features.. My Childhood History I was the third of the three children. I have an older sister Suzanne and an older brother. I am from a Christian family. Whenever the doors of the church are open, we were always there. Even if it was to clean the church or water flowers garden, we were always at church.
I think there is still a spot on the front bench at the church where my face left a spot from sleep during church services. I lost my mother at age eleven. I was very close to my mother so I took my mother’s death real hard. The thing that kept us strong was the strong family tide we had with the church. My Childhood Memory My best family memories were the time we spend as a family before my mom passed away. We would go to the beach some weekends and special occasions. My dad had and still does have a pick-van. We would pack food and travel to the beach with family and friends and we would have a good time.
I think my mom was the best Jamaican cook there was. We would have best friend chicken and the best pastry we could ever have. We always spend time as a family praying together and studying the Bible. I am where I am today because of the God fearing parents I had. Another special memory of my childhood days was our church camp, talent and sports. These are events no young persons who are involved with the church miss. On these events we out meet young people from all over Jamaica and compete in different events. I have built lifelong friends from all these events.
Each summer I go back to Jamaica just to revisit these memorable events. My Role Model After losing my mother at such a young age, I become very reversed and did not talk much. There was a young lady my Pastor’s daughter Janeth who had influenced my life. She could call me on the phone or just look at me and tell me what kind of the day I was having. Janeth is a, “Jack of all Trade”. She knew how to reach young hurting person like me. We have had so many sleepless nights when she comfort me from just hurting about the lost of my mother and the many other things that was going on my life.
Today Janeth and I have maintained a bond because of her ministry to a hurting heart like mine. My Educational Goal When I was in high school, I had a perfect life mapped out. I finish high school, enter college and I could not stop until I get my PHD. My life did not turn out as planned. I have always had a passion for working with troubled children. I know there are many children who have been through what I have been through and even worst. I have dedicated my life to reach out to hurt children. As I said before, our hopes and dreams do not always come true.
After many years of working jobs just to bring home a paycheck; I decided I wanted to get myself equipped so I can work a job that love. I made up my mind to go back to school. With the schedule I had, going to a traditional college was out of the question. I looked at many different universities. I actually started University of Phoenix but I did not think the professors there was compassionate about their students like me who was going though chemotherapy at the time. When I spoke with one Nicole Lynch, she was kind and compassionate and I wanted to be a part of university that had supportive employees.
After one conversation with Nicole, I left like I knew her for years. My Set Backs In 1995 when I was ready to go to college I was diagnosed with cancer. All my hopes and dreams were scattered. The doctors told me I did not have a lot of time. I was told I would not have children. When you serve a faithful God, only God have the last word. After many years of struggling with cancer and asking the why me questions, I was in remission. I know God has always been faithful. I then thought I found the perfect gentleman. Only to behold he was not the man for me.
He started physically abusing me. I so happy I have supportive friends and families who have prayed with me to seek God’s guidance in my martial situation. I have always say divorce was not an option in my life. I could not stay in a marriage when my husband uses me has a pushing bag. With the help of my church, family and friends, I got out of my marriage with only scares. One day I was very discourage and I was having my quiet time early one morning and this Bible verse came to me, “I will restore you to health and heal your wounds, declares the Lord… ” Jeremiah 30:17.
I have held on to this bible verse until today. Theoretical Reflection Although I do not fully agree with Erikson’s theory of development, I can apply it to explain situations that have occurred while working in a college setting. I do not agree with the fundamental Erikson premise that unconscious and emotional behaviors, and the conflicts which arise from them, can explain human behaviors over a lifetime. Erikson divides the human life into eight stages, beginning at infancy and ending in aging and death. In each stage, a conflict must be resolved in order to move on to the next stage.
Although I do not agree with Erickson’s theory, three of his stages contain conflicts which explain student motivation and behavior in a college setting. I can recall several situations where ‘Trust vs. Mistrust,’ ‘Identity vs. Identity Confusion,’ and ‘Intimacy vs. Isolation’ can reasonably explain student actions that seemed irrational to others observing the ordeals. Boyd and Bee (2006) stated that, “The conflicts of ‘Trust vs. Mistrust’ and ‘Intimacy vs. Isolation’ explain students’ dating and relationship behaviors. Often young women embark on their first real relationships in college.
If they suffered abuse as children, conflicts may still exist in their ‘Trust vs. Mistrust’ stage; because of this, they may not be able to establish solid relationships. Likewise, other students may enter relationships as they try to subconsciously resolve their ‘Intimacy vs. Isolation’ stage” (p. 26-27). These individuals fear being alone or seek companionship; they may be involved in many relationships over the course of their college career as they attempt to solve this conflict. According to Boyd and Bee (2006), Erikson’s ‘Identity vs.
Identity Confusion’ also has possible applications in the college setting (p88). Most first-year college students face the task of establishing their identity during their first weeks of school. These students may change their values and personalities, become involved with different social circles, try new things, and experiment with a variety of substances in order to find their niche and identity. The ‘Identity vs. Identity Confusion’ conflict can also explain the creation and popularity of Greek letter and other social organizations.
Learning and applying developmental theories has significantly added to my successes as both and Sunday School Teacher and beginning professional. Through the application of these theories, I find that I can better understand the situations and dilemmas that face those I work with each day. The background in theory allows me to ask more pertinent questions, allowing for students to clarify their feelings, often exposing underlying issues from their past. Students are more receptive to me because I seem to understand the many facets of their lives that affect their ehavior and academic performance. I genuinely care about those with whom I work. Life launch have me a blue print of how to use me sorrow and my victories in becoming a “Woman of Virtue” as it is portrait in Proverbs 31. Today I hold fast the God’s words that, God has restored my health and heal your wounds. References Boyd, D. , & Bee, H (2006). Adult Development Boston: Allyn and Bacon. Hudson M. , & Mclean P (2006) Life Launch A Passionate Guide to the Rest of your Life: The Hudson Institute Press. My Personal Experience The Holy Bible.