Being Heathcliff, at this point of the novel, Catherine is already dead. My love got separated from me and the only thing which remained in my life is revenge, As I needed someone to talk to, I made Nelly my confidant as she is the only one who can understand me after all that has happened However, now the situation has changed. I do not feel the need to fight or even eat. I am fed up with my life and with the idea of revenge which took all over me I was acting like a fool.
I wanted to fight for what I endured during my childhood I guess it is all God‘s work Despite having a golden occasion to take my revenge, “I have lost the faculty of enjoying their destruction.” This is me right now. I was obsessed with revenge but not anymore now. I have led a quite difficult childhood and now Ijust want to go far away, from everything.
I have lost the ability to fight. I now believe that it is a waste of time. I could have done something far better titan being cruel to all those I had enmity with. How silly of me! I think the best revenge was to let go, stay silent and never to fight. I am just a human being after all and not God who is the only one capable fo deciding what is the worth of each one of us Moreover, nobody is right and nobody is wrong Really, life was not difficult.
I made it seem as such. I acted like I had no presence of mind. I ruined everything and this cost me my love, my Catherine. After all, everything comes with a price in this world This war started since childhood Despite Hindley was no more, I still felt the need to ruin Edgart When the latter is dead, what am I to do?
I have lost my love I have lost everything in search of justice. Life was not about searching, my identity, it was about making one and I made a cruel person out of me. Ijust hope that God forgives me for all the bad things I did. I did not do it intentionally, I was obliged. If seen closely, my life is dark and empty. It is too late to rectify my mistake. I feel really guilty and I do not want to live any longei: Such a cruel man like me does not deserve life I had everything, I could not realize that] was so blind with revenge. Ijust wish to die and meet my love, Catherine.