Life changing experience
I was young at the age when this happened so having a good area to be raised was essential as i spent many years, months and weeks:all of the time disappeared, I had exciting memories there, my mum would visit every month as she lived somewhere else I never found out where she lived. Every day was the same but I had to accept that it wasnt going to stay like that for long because of the news i was told. I wasn’t able to sleep for a couple of days and thinking of what could of have happened to me and i had to say goodbye to my friends, on reflection the responses that i got i had taken them personally. My parents only told me a couple of things but at the time i didnt understand what it meant, everyday my heart started to beat with distress from that night on, as the beating got faster everyday, it felt like a countdown until i had left, i wasnt able to bear it but cry and my tears had stained my cheeks.
The day that i had to leave i thought if i will ever see this place again? Or ever return there ever again? As the car had started all i was doing was trying to remember as much scenery as possible, it was like abandoning my life and having to start and learn all over again. As i was on to the airport all that was going through my head was gloomy thoughts of terror as i had no idea where i was going, is something going to go wrong? Can i even start a new life or is it too late? The closer i got to the airport it felt like a countdown was happening telling me how long i had left in Lithuania, i was having to accept to move, i was insignificant in stopping the decision and having to make a new chapter in my life.
When i arrived at the airport, i felt heartbroken, miserable and wanting to cry, i even dropped to the ground and start begging of desperation as i had such a great life there, i questioned my parents asking why are we moving? Why cant we just stay here? How is the place we are moving to better than here? My heart filled with bitterness and anger as i wasnt able to coup with the nerves of what could happen to me, my heart had started to beat faster than ever before in my life as i knew it was the end of the journey, i went through every store trying to find the best resemblance of the country such as a fridge magnet or key ring.
When i had entered the plane, the clouds reminded me of the thoughts that were going through my head. I was having to start a new chapter in my life so much torment built up as i got no answer from my parents, no response, nothing. Even anxiety started to build over the time i was on the plane, the pilot alerted everyone on the plane that there was thirty minutes remaining until the plane reached its destination, why did i have to leave? Leave the place i always loved, my house, my home town, my friends and family, my everything. Before i had landed i had a thought, that moving might have been a good idea but then i dismissed that thought of how bad of an idea that was.
Finally after many cruel hours of torture and wretchedness the plane landed in a place called Scotland, my eyes were never going to see or step on my old house. When i stood out of the plane the weather was chilly. The repeated feeling saying something was wrong, something was missing there, something just wasnt right i couldnt put my mind to it. When I got to the luggage returns the language that was spoken when i walked past someone, it felt like i was isolated to everyone else as i had no understanding of it, as i exited the airport my body wasnt able to cope with the pain and i had fell to the ground weeping uncontrollably. As i got in a taxi i looked around as the place i was in was a place where i had never been there before but that area made me breakdown in tears as it looked like my house i lived in Lithuania, the streets felt unknown and made me a nobody as i knew no one, nowhere and no place.The closer i got to the new house the more stressed i felt as i had no idea or knowledge of the foreign language that i was constantly hearing. I was going to have to learn it no matter what, the things that i was going to have to start was a new chapter in my life.
It took years for me to settle in learning the language and other things like subjects in school, i had went through pain having to move houses, having to loss great friendships and having to move school made me go through so many emotions my heart wasnt able to handle it, i had to deal with it and get rid of every emotion one by one and having to finally settle in my chapter of my life.