Love through the ages have been distorted one way or another, from Hollywood pictures to literature treating this connection as if it were the antidote to all of life’s problems. As happiness is sought through the arms of another filling up the void missing in each of their lives, or so this is explored in The Notebook by Nicholas sparks. A love so great that leaves all type of rational thinking. Building up an illusion as others believe that love is meant to be wild and spontaneous as nothing else matters.
Lastingly, feeling that spark or finding that rare love.
The most categorize love under happiness thinking that by obtaining or finding someone would immediately bring them joy. Once that love goes away one becomes numb to life, not finding that joyful feeling again or so that is how Noah felt “He never came to feel the same way about [w]aitress as he did about Allie.” A man closed off only to have himself light up when he meets Allie once again, all because he built a house for her like he promised.
But as Dr. Paul Dolan states in psychology today “it’s not just a feel-good emotion-It’s also about the absences of bad ones.” Love is much more than just feeling complete, or being emotionally dependent on someone. One must take to account that love isn’t about bringing joy into your life, that you can allow others to enter your closed off space in the end love is a choice.
You choice who you let in your life, you choice who you let out.
Many believe that with love comes with passion beyond reasoning, that suddenly all rational thoughts are diminished in the moment eyes are locked. Principals are out the door, as getting physical is clouding up ones mind. “Poets often describe love as an emotion that we can’t control, one that overwhelms logic and common sense.” Is this really what love is about? A love where one forgets she is engaged and sleeps with her former love, at this point it’s lust. Allie begins to justify her feelings for her fiancé to Noah, feeling the passion arise every minute she is with him. Dr. Judith Orloff explains that lust distorts the state of consciousness to reproduce. Its an intense feeling that it’s almost considered to someone being drugged up. She goes on further saying how “You see. What you hope someone will be or need them to be” Allie idealized Noah, stating that he was exactly the man she thought him to be.
As stated in the other paragraphs love is a choice, that spark we get when we first meet someone eventually fades. But to stay in love is a constant commitment, working to make the relationship work. It’s not going to be all glamorous like how it’s painted in the notebook. Nights of passion, poetry and boat rides down the stream are nice but reality is there will be arguments and discussions but that doesn’t mean the relationship is over. The notebook idealizes love as it shares how love isn’t controlled that it only comes along for the lucky ones.
The way literature portrays love is different than how it actually is. Love isn’t just about happiness, it affects your feelings but it isn’t the base emotion. It also isn’t just a night of passion and irrational thoughts, it’s caring for that person as well as evaluating whether that person is right for you or not. Love isn’t just a spark, love is an everyday commitment. When love isn’t enough, or feeling begin to fade we must constantly remind ourselves why we chose this person in our lives and what made us love the