Fear. Such a complex four letter word, what does it mean?
Well in my eyes it means an emotion that creates impossible or rarely possible situations that lead to either 2 things, you give in to it or you use it as a boost to overcome it. So heres how I overcame my fear Not my fear of heights, not my fear of demonic horror film children, but the fear of day to day life. So much so that I missed out on so many opportunities that I might not get again. I was so anxious every second of the day even before I knew what anxiety was or that the feeling even had a name always leading me to feel down about myself and unconfident. My ultimate fear became living a life of anxiety and depression.
I knew that I didnt want to live the rest of my life the way I had been and so that fear motivated me to change and I used it to turn my mind into a productive state. This new energy in me came down to a thought I started using very often; Be depressed & scared forever Or Use the fear and tackle it. This thought became my go to every time I faced some kind of challenging obstacle in life. I was going to overcome my fear one way or the other. I was determined. When you reach that point like I did, it becomes a joke that youve lived that way for so long. Not a haha joke but more a Do I seriously want to live and be like this forever? kind of joke. I overcame my fear of a life of anxiety by doubling down on productive activities. For me personally It was only when I took the risk to do what I truly wanted that I felt mentally free and confident. I started to learn what most of todays society feared; being judged by others that let them to never really try for what they really want.
I realized this when I stepped back to look at my life, my mind had become side-tracked. I was living on autopilot mode ignoring what my mind craved. This meant making time for what I was passionate about. Not going to bed late, waking early, going to school, watching movies all evening and repeating the cycle over & over again. At some point in life you have to say enough is enough. A mundane cycle of life is enough to give anyone an anxiety disorder.
Yes, we all have responsibilities and goals to accomplish, however when I remembered back to my childhood self, I didnt have the same levels of fear & anxiety that I ended up having in my early teens. So that was it. I was going to plan out my life the way I wanted because I knew that no-one could change my life but me. Not my mom, not my dad, not my teacher. Only I could do that.