Defining AssertivenessPage 1
Three types of Assertiveness Page 1-2
Style believe Fred used at work Page 2
Improved Communication Page 2
Types of Characteristics Page 2-3
1.1a) Being assertive would possibly be a core correspondence capacity.
A few people seem to be normally assertive. Notwithstanding, if you are not one among them. Being assertive might be a centre correspondence capacity. Being assertive suggests that you clearly and express yourself viably and stand up for your beliefs, while also regarding and respecting the beliefs, rights and convictions of others. Being assertive may encourage self-esteem and the gain of more friendships.
Aggressive style (Dickson, Harige and Morrow 1989; Verderber 1990; Gamble and Gamble 1998) is people who behave aggressively lash out at the discomfort with little concern for the feelings of the other people. They insist on standing up for their own rights while violating the rights of others. Their behaviour is judgmental, fault finding and coercive. Its a fashion in which men and women express their feelings and opinions and advocate for their wants in a way that violates the rights of others. Thus, aggressive communicators are verbally and bodily abusive towards other people. It is conveyed in a powerful and adversarial way, and generally comprises of ugly texts such as you-statements (blaming the one-of-a a kind individual and condemning them of being false or faulty). The person’s tone of voice and facial expressions is unfriendly. The assumption at the bottom of the aggressive conversation is your needs don’t count.
Passive style (Dickson, Harige and Morrow 1989; Verderber 1990; Gamble and Gamble 1998) is people who behave passively and suppress their feelings to avoid conflict and to let others know how they feel. When people behave passively, they force themselves to keep real feelings inside and end up in relationships they dont want. It involves placing your needs last. You dont categorically express your ideas or feelings, or ask for what you want. When you use passive communication, it feels like others are strolling all over you due to the fact you dont assert your personal needs. So, you bottle matters up and would perhaps feel resentful. The assumption at the back of passive communication is my desires dont matter (you win or I lose and I hate you for that).
Assertive style (Dickson, Harige and Morrow 1989; Verderber 1990; Gamble and Gamble 1998) Is to avoid conflict to dominate a relationship, but to communicate their feelings and opinions honestly without hurting yourself or others. People who behave assertively take responsibility for their actions and feelings without personal attacks on others for dramatic effect.Its expressing what you think, without disturbing emotionally disturbing self and others. The primary underlying assumption is we both count lets try to work this out. Assertive conversation increases your possibility of getting what you want, fending off conflict and keeping top relationships When you are assertive you can: categorically express your own thoughts, emotions, and desires.
b) He used an Aggressive assertiveness towards his employer at the workplace. Fred was aggressive towards John for the reason being that one customer complained about his food by never stated what the reason was and then Fred stormed into the kitchen and yelled at John and threw his food in the bin.
c)Fred should use the assertive style of assertiveness at his workplace. And address fellow employees with respect and being calmness. Fred was aggressive towards John because of the food he had cooked. Fred could have addressed this matter differently by not lashing out at his colleague. Fred should have spoken to John in a more respectful manner and a formal tone. If he uses the assertive style of assertiveness, he can communicate his feelings honestly and clearly without hurting himself or other people around him.
1.2) The characteristics that define interpersonal relationships are
No two individuals are the same, and so our relationships with each other will differ. We are also involved in numerous relationships, ranging from social, romantic & business (Tubbs and Moss 2008; DeVito,2007; Knapp and Vangelisti, 2005; DeVito, 2004). Fred could have acted better towards John, he through his food in the bin and started yelling at him. He didnt even give John time to respond to the problem. Then terminated his contract a month later. He and Johns relationship did not see eye to eye because of the different roles they played.
Commitment is the decision to remain in a relationship and to have some common goal in mind. Cultivating a relationship that will stand the test of time requires a deep-rooted commitment. There is an investment of time, energy, money & even the individuals themselves (Wood 2009). Within relationships, individuals have a certain understanding between themselves about what to say, how to react, what not to do, when to do what. This understanding stems from the rules that govern the relationships and they can be divided into constructive & regulative rules.
Fred didnt know how to communicate with his colleagues in a more professional manner. And then he became a nightmare to all the people around him. He was lacking the social communication skills and how to interoperate situations better. But the way Fred communicates with Violet is respectable and calm, but with John he lashes out, starts yelling and insulting him.
Relationship rules refer to the nature of the communication within a relationship. Create a certain understanding between themselves about what to say, how to react, what not to do, when to do what. (Tubbs and Moss 2008; DeVito,2007; Knapp and Vangelisti, 2005; DeVito, 2004). Women might expect a shoulder to cry on as evidence of a caring relationship.
Fred did not know how to communicate to people in a professional manner, that was one thing he lacked. He walked into the kitchen insulting John. Hence John complained to violet saying to her what Fred lacks and that he is very insulting.
Effect of context
The relationships we find ourselves in, is not isolated from the rest of society. We as humans are formed by our experiences of ourselves. The challenges we face in everyday life also mould who we are.This is the way Fred spoke to his colleagues with no respect for them and did not care if he hurt or offended one of them. But with Violet everything is calm and subtle because she is the boss.
Relational dialectics refer to the tensions and stresses we experience during our relationships. They can be divided into 3 categories and they are Autonomy or connection, Novelty or predictability, Openness or closedness
Relational Dialectics Autonomy or connection
The feeling of wanting to connect and spend as much time with other individuals in the relationship (connection) versus the urge for some me time (autonomy).
We often have a perception that relationships should be completely open, with nothing hidden, a typical sense of we talk about everything. The truth is that all relationships we find a need for some closedness, where we do not have the desire to talk about everything. In relationships dialectics Is the key is to respect each other as individuals, creating areas to grow together and also space to reinvent and reinvest in ourselves.
Martin Bubbers Method (1967;1970) describes two types of interpersonal relationships: I-you relationship and I-it relationship. The difference lies in the nature of the communication that takes place between the participants. To understand the difference between the two relationships we have to explain the concepts of dialogue and monologue in interpersonal communication.
The I-you RelationshipIn the I-you relationship the partners approach each other with mutual respect, sincerity and honesty and the intention to become subjectively involved in a corresponding relationship. Bubber states that the I reaches out to the you with his whole being and the you responds with her whole being. The I does not attempt to impose views on the you or to bolster and own self-image by giving off false impressions. Both reveal the persons that they really are and not the image of themselves they would like others to have. Both communicate their own feelings, thoughts and beliefs, and not opinions they have heard from others.In addition to revealing himself as he is the I also accepts the other as the unique individual that she is. He is present to the other in the sense that he listens attentively to what she wishes to express and tries to understand her point of view. In such a relationship a space opens up between people Bubber calls it the inter-human domain and it is here that the dialogue unfolds and you and I become we (Johannesen 1971; Jansen and Steinberg 1991).
The I-it RelationshipIn this relationship the attitude of the I is that his partner in communication is not an equal subject in the relationship, but an object to be manipulated for personal gain. (I-it relationship is unequal with the I perceiving him/herself as the superior partner) Although there are two participants the, the I-it relationship is not a dialogical relationship because the distinguishing features of the I-you relationship are not present. The intention of the I is to persuade the other to his way of thinking without taking into account the views and the needs of the other, as in dialogue. It is not a relationship of mutual trust, openness and reciprocity, but one in which the communicator uses the recipient to achieve his own ends. Buber acknowledges that in order to survive in the modern world I-it relationships are unavoidable. What he emphasises however, is that I-it should not be allowed to overtake ones life: I-it should always remain subordinate to I-YOU. Ultimately, the type of relationship that predominates in each persons life remains the choice and the responsibility of the individuals themselves (Steinburg and Angelopulo; 2015)
Friends are individuals with whom we have a tendency to don’t have a relationship however value more highly to communicate. Friends are people we have a tendency to trust and honour. A sensible relationship should be made on sincerity, facilitate and allegiance. friendly relationship could be a reciprocal connection; so as for it to occur, each people should see one another as friends.
I have an I-you relationship with my friend. We are both the I consider my friend as my sister. A friendship relationship is based on trust, respect and support. We love each other just the way we are and we dont force one another to change. We share a connection that is unbreakable and a bond that is forever bound. We know we are different in many ways, but we embrace those ways and make memories out of what we can.
Family communication patterns establish roles, identities and modify the expansion of people. Our family are people to whom we have a tendency to are connected through some quite relationship, whether or not it’s through blood, wedding, sexual connections or adoption. Family relationships are typically life-long, though as children become young adults and the life circle repeats its self.
I have an I-you relationship with my mother, father and sister. We all communicate and receive the messages in these relationships. All four of us interact with our own emotions, feelings, convictions and ideas. We accept each other as we are and dont try to change anyone. We encourage and support one another through thick and thin, no matter the situation. We are all different but that then makes us unique.
A romantic relationship is one within which you’re thinking that terribly and heavily drawn to the opposite individual, each in terms of their character and, often, additionally physically. A romantic association is that the connection between an admirer and a friend.
I have an I-it relationship with my partner. He is the superior partner and he is very dominating. Our attitude with one another is not equal because he wants to do things his way when I want it done my way. His target was to get me to think the way he does. There is no trust and respect in this relationship or being open with one another, everything is his way or no way at all.
ConclusionTo conclude this assignment about interpersonal communication relationships and successful communication with two or more people. People and colleagues should learn the basics of learning to communicate with one another in a professional manner. Communicating with people helps you improve your daily skills such as how to talk to someone when they have done something wrong, but rather correct them and give them at least a warning for them not to do it again. Assertive communication is a form of communication so that no conflict or aggression will be shown. All Is dealt with calmly and professionally so that the problem can be solved.References
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