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Bayan Yousef Professor Darakjian Intro to Composition 16 October Essay

Words: 503, Paragraphs: 5, Pages: 2

Paper type: Essay

Bayan Yousef

Professor Darakjian

Intro to Composition

16 October 2019

In Joan Didion’s, “On Going Home” she recreates the feelings and thoughts of what many go through once they grow up and find their new “home”. Throughout the story Didion tries to find herself in the place she grew up.

Didion starts the narrative by explaining where she still considers her home to be. It’s not the house she lives with her husband and daughter, it’s where her family lives. Her thoughts on where her home is are very significant because everyone can have a house, but not everyone can make that house into their home. Throughout the story her tone is mostly sad but frustrated, like when she talks about how her husband that doesn’t like her family and vice versa. She explains how he doesn’t like when she goes back home because she becomes more like her family and into a person he does not recognize. It’s like she has two different identities, one in Los Angeles with her husband and one in California with her family.

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There was an instance where her husband wrote “dust” along the surface with his finger. Her husband didn’t understand what her family talked about, or why they acted the way they did. When she was stating this, it was as if she was frustrated that he didn’t understand them but at the same time she understood why, because her family wasn’t like most families. They stayed in the past and didn’t welcome outsiders too well. They made Joan’s husband feel like he wasn’t welcome which was a frequent theme. Nonetheless, her husband tries to avoid her family to the extent of not being there for his daughter’s birthday which hints that their marriage is not the strongest. This gets clearer when Joan says she starts to dread talking to her husband and how she lived a, “remote life” back in Los Angeles.

Throughout this narrative, it was as if Joan didn’t know where she belonged or who she was. When she’s with her family she gossips and becomes the young her again, the one that talks about her crazy family members and what they’ve been through. Once she leaves, she isn’t the same person she was with her family anymore but wants to find out why. She goes back to her old room and looks through the drawers as if she’s searching for herself in a way. In the drawer she finds a rejection letter and a photograph of her grandpa which she sees no resemblance in. These objects seemed like the most significant because they both obviously meant a lot to her but also reminded her that she doesn’t belong or doesn’t know where to belong. She realizes a deep disconnection with the things she finds and that her answers aren’t there. The one thing that happens time and time again is she doesn’t talk about her feelings with anyone. She could’ve simply talked to her husband or her family about how she feels irrelevant, but she just kept quiet.

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