Alexander NguyenMr DaughtridgeENG 10115 Nov 2018Marriage and

Alexander Nguyen

Mr. Daughtridge

ENG 101

15 Nov. 2018

Marriage and Love

Marriage is a legally or ritually recognized union between two people as partners in a personal relationship. Love is a strong or constant feeling for one another; it is a warm personal attachment or deep affections to another person. These two words play a key role between partners. When we see a couple, we would sometimes associate them with marriage and love. Other times, depending on the circumstance, is a way to make peace between two factions.

However, there is a more much deeper meaning between the two words, sometimes romantic or other times dark and tragic. The connections between two people can be an unbreakable bond or just an “empty love,” as in two people are still willing to be together, but have no desire to show affections or intimacy to one another. In this argument, the first part of the argument will focus on the concept of marriage, with the other half focusing on love.

Marriage and love are ways of bonding two people together, sometimes that can lead happiness or tragedy.

To go in depth with marriage and love, we must take a look back in history. Love usually comes first as you would have a deep emotional attachment to someone. This wasn’t always the case back then. It had little to do with love, as women were mostly treated as property, obey their husband, and breed children. This has been going on since the existence of first human civilization.

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From Mesopotamia to the United States, it still happens to this day in other nations. Religion would not play an important role back then until 1563, when Roman Catholic Church had power in Europe. The blessing from a priest would later become an important step to have the couples be recognized legally. Love would not come into the picture until Medieval times. When the idea of romantic love came, most people believed it was the French that made this concept. Love would forever change on how marriage will work. Because of this, it helped give women more strength in a union between two people. Women were no longer treated as servants and men were able to serve to the person he loves. The tradition of marriage drastically changed in the 1900’s. In the 1920’s, each union would consist of two full citizens, even though the husband would still rule the home. In 1960’s, during the civil rights movement, interracial marriage was legalized as state laws that forbids them were uplifted and dropped laws that were against birth control. In the 1970’s, marital rape was deemed incomprehensible. It is a surprise that for the tradition of marriage lasting for 5,000 years, it has changed for the past 40 years. (The Week, 2007, para 2)

Sometimes marriage can be used as a way to make peace between countries or states. This is called Heqin, or marriage alliance. The practice is that a person with a high title would marry a member of a minor branch of a royal family adopted as an appeasement strategy when an opponent could not be defeated in battle. This is a controversial move to make because it would make a foreign ruler and king or emperor have equal diplomatic status. This was very common in Asia, mostly in China and Vietnam.

There are many types of marriage that exist. Monogamy: the state of being married to one person at a time is the most common type of marriage that exist throughout the millennium. There are three types: Love, arranged, or forced. The first branch in simple it whom a person falls in love with one another and chooses that person to be their partner for a lifetime. The second topic is arranged, which is a marriage where the husband and wife would meet each other at their wedding. This was common in the Medieval to Victorian era, as many partners would not be able to meet each other before their ceremony. The chance of the two having a romantic life is a fifty percent chance, as they can connect or disagree with one another. Forced marriage is a different story, one person is unwilling married to another without his or her consent. This the least favored type of marriage by the media since one person does not truly love his or her spouse.

Polygany is when one man is married to more than one wife at a time. This practice is very popular in Hinduism and Islam. By a geographical stance, it is very common in West Africa. However, it is illegal in United states, United Kingdom, Canada, Russia and many Muslim states. This is because by a United Nations Human Rights Committee, it violates the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights and violates the dignity of women.

Polyandry is when one woman is married to more than one husband at a time. It is similar to polygyny by concept but with genders switching roles. Unlike polygyny, it is illegal in every country in the world. It is only practiced in remote communities. When it comes to nature, it’s pretty common in the animal kingdom, but in this case, humans would not accept or allow this kind of behavior in any civilized area. It used to be common in both India and Tibet, though it still happens today in Tibet, to a lesser extent.

Child marriage is a union when an individual has entered into a marriage before reaching at a legal age. Usually, the legal age for marriage is 18, but there are other circumstances when a person is married at the age of 15 or younger. This type of marriage violates the rights of children; both boys and girls can be negatively affected in their psyches. The causes of child marriage varies from poverty, dowry, bride price to laws that allow child marriage, cultural traditions, or even regional and social pressures. If we’re to talk long term impact, it will definitely have a lasting consequence on the girls. Unlike the boys, they would have to face with pregnancy and childbirth at a very young age, which is quite unbearable to think to happen to such a young girl. This union is not illegal to most nations in the world, including United States. Only twenty-five states have no minimum age requirements; those that do however have the minimum age at thirteen or fourteen.

Finally, same-sex marriage is when a same-sex couple enters into a civil ceremony. It is a controversial marriage that has been debated for quite some time. It has been accepted by many countries such as Australia, Brazil, Canada, Germany, United Kingdom, United States, etc. However, it is opposed by most religious groups such as the Catholic church and the Southern Baptist. There are still prejudice against the LGBT community, thus more likely to to be targeted of hate crime. ( ) Until 2015, 12 states have banned same-sex marriage. It was a big deal when Obergefell v. Hodges case was able to make same-sex marriage be recognized by the government. Because of this, there was a decline of child suicide. (Benham, 2017, para 5 & 6) Kids that were afraid to come out of the closet would rather die than reveal who they are to a community that hated their sexuality. But as of 2015, children are now able to choose their own sexuality and be proud for who they are.

Love plays an important factor to romance. It makes you care deeply for another person. Your want to spend time together and stay by their side through thick and thin. It gives you a complicated but warm feeling inside you. That’s what many think of love. But there are forms of love that are very different to the one stated just now.

There are different forms of love. They can range from a friendship or a very intense and passionate love. They help give us a drive to go after the people that we wish to be with, but some are for different reasons. There are seven form of love that varies on three dimensions: Passion, Intimacy, and Commitment. These dimensions were established by Robert J Sternberg, a renown psychologist. The seven types are: liking, infatuation, empty love, romantic love, fatuous love, companionate love, and consummate love. One thing to note is that sometimes it may not last for the rest of your life as it can cycle around from one form to another.

“Liking” is a form of love only built by intimacy. A sense of familiarity or friendship from someone that you can trust. It’s like talking to a friend, but you can feel that you can show your true self around and that can keep your secret. This form is usually weaker than any other forms as it does not imply any kind of romantic attraction.

“Infatuation” is a form of love only fueled by passion. It’s is commonly the trope known as “puppy love.” The passion is unreasoned as it is not explored yet by the person that has been stricken by this kind of love. This form can develop into a mature love;however, it’s illusion can lead to a disappointment when the truth is learned about that person. This is usually temporary and short-lived.

“Empty love” is constructed by commitment. Instead of feeling as a romantic choice, it feels more like a duty. Without passion or intimacy, there is no point to move on with the relationship besides being together. Arranged marriage would fall into this category. Depending on the circumstances, this would lead to a divorce in marriage that does not last.

“Fatuous love” is when commitment and passion are the driving force. Your want to be with the person and make a promise to them. The only downside to this love is that you don’t know them that well. These kind of love mostly happen at Vegas wedding chapels and are usually a common trope called “love at first sight.” It’s emergence came from ancient Greece, with the source coming from Cupid or Eros. At this time, the arrows from the mythical gods were the image of love object themselves. When piercing its target, the overwhelming desire and longing to one another is shown. This is called love sickness. Many examples of this type of love are in Romeo and juliet, The Hunger Games, Sailor Moon, Cinderella, Titanic, and The Little Mermaid.

“Romantic love” is created by passion and intimacy. This is seen as a love in teenage dream and romance novels.You want to be with that person and know more about them, unfortunately, it usually burns out without commitment. This love is more concern with the present than the future. This is considered a one night stand, sexual attraction, or a romantic affair. This form originated in medieval times when it was incorporated in the medieval chivalry.

“Companionate love” is intimacy and commitment. This is when the connection between two people are stronger than friendship. There is no passion, but the two people still care for one another. This is a more supportive love and is emphasizes as the long-term relationship.

“Consummate love” is the ideal love. With both commitment, intimacy, and passion, this is the form of ‘true’ love. You will always be at that person’s side no matter what hardship both of you will go through. You will always be supportive and spend all your time together in both the present and future. The promises and desires for your love interest are strong and since you both know each other well, you’ll both remain happy and adoring one another year after year.

Love and marriage has changed throughout the modern age. The two subjects have brought people closer together in both physically and mentally. Picking a partner is a very hard choice to make, but makes a well worth effort if making a correct decision. Love and marriage helps bring out the new generation, promoting harmony and happiness it brings out to others. But if the love does not longer exist between two couples in a marriage, it can lead to disastrous results with the two people spiting each other. Marriage and love is not a necessary requirement in life, but helps make the time more worth living for.

Bibliography

Wolfe, Christopher. “Defining Marriage.” Public Discourse, 24 Aug. 2018, www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2015/07/15331/.

Silverman, Jacob. “How Marriage Works.” HowStuffWorks, HowStuffWorks, 16 Apr. 2007, people.howstuffworks.com/marriage.htm.

“A Brief History of Marriage.” Kings and Queens | Classic History | History | Yesterday Channel, UKTV, 24 Oct. 2013, yesterday.uktv.co.uk/history/article/brief-history-marriage/.

Staff, The Week. “The Origins of Marriage.” The Week – All You Need to Know about Everything That Matters, The Week, 1 Jan. 2007, theweek.com/articles/528746/origins-marriage.

Benham, Barbara, and JH Bloomberg School of Public Health. “Same-Sex Marriage Legalization Linked to Reduction in Suicide Attempts Among High School Students.” Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, 23 Feb. 2017, www.jhsph.edu/news/news-releases/2017/same-sex-marriage-legalization-linked-to-reduction-in-suicide-attempts-among-high-school-students.html.

Raifman, Julia. “State Same-Sex Marriage Policies and Adolescent Suicide Attempts.” JAMA, American Medical Association, 1 Apr. 2017, jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/fullarticle/2604258.

Segal, Corinne. “Same-Sex Marriage Laws Linked to Fewer Youth Suicide Attempts, New Study Says.” PBS, Public Broadcasting Service, 20 Feb. 2017, www.pbs.org/newshour/health/same-sex-marriage-fewer-youth-suicide.

Solis, Steph. “Study: Teen Suicide Attempts Fell as Same-Sex Marriage Was Legalized.” USA Today, Gannett Satellite Information Network, 21 Feb. 2017, www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2017/02/20/teen-suicide-down-as-same-sex-marriage-legalized-study/98179684/.

“The Seven Types of Love: Exploring the Triangular Theory of Love.” EliteSingles, www.elitesingles.com/mag/relationship-advice/consummate-love.

“Triangular Theories: Explaining the Seven Types of Love.” Who Uses SilverSingles? About Our Members, www.silversingles.com/en-us/discover-silversingles/seven-types-of-love.

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Alexander NguyenMr DaughtridgeENG 10115 Nov 2018Marriage and. (2019, Dec 10). Retrieved from http://paperap.com/alexander-nguyenmr-daughtridgeeng-10115-nov-2018marriage-and-best-essay/

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